The Fat Lazy Sh*ts Thread - 2011

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The Fat Lazy Sh*ts Thread - 2011

Post by Careless Whisperer @ Wed Dec 29, 2010 12:12 pm

So, 2011 is almost upon us. Christmas chocolates need eating, New Years resolutions are waiting to be made and broken, Gym memberships need renewing and the various Fat Lazy Sh*t's on CTF (including myself), need motivating.

This year is THE year for me. I'm 32, have been with Mrs CW for a decade which coincides with a decade since I gave up competitive cycling and all the exercise that went with it. In ten years I have gone from 10 1/2st (in season)/11 1/2st (out of season) to about 16 1/2st now. My current exercise regime is rushing from meeting to meeting - that is it.

I have to change. I need to run around with my kids in the park, I need to fit into some half decent clothes so I feel a bit better about myself and I need to improve myself for Mrs CW too.

In short, I need to get off my fat lazy arse and EXERCISE!!!


Now, I have had this inspiration before, but fell into the trap of doing too much too soon. I have a damaged back anyway, but it is amazing how an unfit, overweight body really is incapable if coping with sudden exercise. I'm not just talking about being out of breath, but things like shin splints, sores, rediculously excessive sweating, muscle damage etc. etc.

So, this time around my plan is thus:

1) Start off with weekly swimming sessions. Half hour to start with, but constant lane swimming, then build up to an hour session, then multiple sessions.
2) Diet. Not a weight loss diet per se, but generally eating smaller portions, healthier food etc.
3) Sleep. I need to get more sleep to build up energy.
4) When all the above starts to have an effect, then get back on the bike. Hell, treat myself to a new bike which actualy fits my current physique - maybe then I'll be comfortable and enjoy it.
5) In the summer, do Touch Rugby again and really get running with it.

My aim is to lose a stone every four months.

Jan: 16 1.2st
May: 15 1/2st
Sep: 14 1/2st
Jan: 13 1/2st

So who else is in the same boat, what are your plans and your targets?

Also, has anybody any idea how to create some sort of table on here for monitoring the CTF FLS's progress?
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Re: The Fat Lazy Sh*ts Thread - 2011

Post by Käsemeister @ Wed Dec 29, 2010 12:14 pm

You Stuart-esque planetoid baby.
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Re: The Fat Lazy Sh*ts Thread - 2011

Post by HappyGoLucky @ Wed Dec 29, 2010 12:18 pm

Careless Whisperer wrote:Also, has anybody any idea how to create some sort of table on here for monitoring the CTF FLS's progress?
Too fat n lazy to have the energy to create some sort of table, broke into a sweat typing this ffs!
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Re: The Fat Lazy Sh*ts Thread - 2011

Post by Careless Whisperer @ Wed Dec 29, 2010 12:20 pm

HappyGoLucky wrote:
Careless Whisperer wrote:Also, has anybody any idea how to create some sort of table on here for monitoring the CTF FLS's progress?
Too fat n lazy to have the energy to create some sort of table, broke into a sweat typing this ffs!


Just your common or garden technophobe, that's all.
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Re: The Fat Lazy Sh*ts Thread - 2011

Post by LotusNova @ Wed Dec 29, 2010 12:20 pm

Similar intentions here.

I was doing well, but everything went to pot around the beginning of December. Now it's back to healthier diet & in the gym. Target is 80kg by end of March.
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Re: The Fat Lazy Sh*ts Thread - 2011

Post by Käsemeister @ Wed Dec 29, 2010 12:22 pm

LotusNova wrote:Target is 80kg by end of March.


>dreams of 80kg<
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Re: The Fat Lazy Sh*ts Thread - 2011

Post by WD40 @ Wed Dec 29, 2010 12:33 pm

I'm just under 14st and should really be 1st below that, would prefer 2st as then I can get back into 32 inch trousers and wear a few more suits that I own that I can't presently get past my thighs and arse. I'd settle for fitting back in my 34s rather than overflowing my 36s as I presently am. :paperbag:

I'd also like to do something about my upper arms being pipe-cleaneresque and narrower than my forearms at the respective widest points of both. I've got incredibly lazy in this respect in the last two years of being married. I used to at least make some conciliations towards physical health/fitness/attractiveness before that.

I R fat bastid :(
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Re: The Fat Lazy Sh*ts Thread - 2011

Post by HappyGoLucky @ Wed Dec 29, 2010 12:33 pm

Careless Whisperer wrote:Just your common or garden technophobe, that's all.


I was 89kgs when I got back from Singapore and prefer to be around 78. I wassimming a lot & cycling at least 100kms a week and often more at weekends but the good food and hectic lifestyle meant I piled on the weight.
Once back I just started cutting down on portion sizes and without any extra effort I've lost 8kgs, 3 or 4 more and I'll be happy out.
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Re: The Fat Lazy Sh*ts Thread - 2011

Post by Careless Whisperer @ Wed Dec 29, 2010 12:36 pm

HappyGoLucky wrote:
Careless Whisperer wrote:Just your common or garden technophobe, that's all.


I was 89kgs when I got back from Singapore and prefer to be around 78. I wassimming a lot & cycling at least 100kms a week and often more at weekends but the good food and hectic lifestyle meant I piled on the weight.
Once back I just started cutting down on portion sizes and without any extra effort I've lost 8kgs, 3 or 4 more and I'll be happy out.


When I got married errrm... four years ago (I think), I primarily lost weight the same way. Whilst I kow it can work, this time it's not just about losing weight. It's improving fitness (or actually having some) that is just as important.
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Re: The Fat Lazy Sh*ts Thread - 2011

Post by DI Burnside @ Wed Dec 29, 2010 12:38 pm

Mrs C and I have discussed this over the past few weeks as we are both now big fat shits, me massively so.

Targets have been set for Easter, mine is to hit 15st. That's around a 2.5st loss in 4 months.

Diet and exercise.
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Re: The Fat Lazy Sh*ts Thread - 2011

Post by HappyGoLucky @ Wed Dec 29, 2010 12:43 pm

Careless Whisperer wrote: I primarily lost weight the same way. Whilst I kow it can work, this time it's not just about losing weight. It's improving fitness (or actually having some) that is just as important.


I'm working up to the fitness bit slowly as I've knackered back and both knees are shot. Will be using the pool a lot more this year hopefully.
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Re: The Fat Lazy Sh*ts Thread - 2011

Post by One MoreDonkey @ Wed Dec 29, 2010 1:22 pm

We're both getting back in to some form of shape in 2011 as well.

Primarily more exercise will be a good start as we've both got complacent over the winter months. I'll be having a nice big needled rammed down betwen my ankle joints in to my heel on the 4th January so I should be pain free afterwards (fingers crossed) and more inclined to exercise without suffering terribly for it.

My biggest task will be cutting down the intake Mr Maz shovels down his throat as he can and will eat for England. He blames me for his weight gain, too much nice food though I do point out I don't force feed him :wink:

We don't eat unhealthily, seldom have biscuits, sweets, chocolate or crisps in the house, and all our meals are fresh prepared and cooked daily. Our biggest problem is exercise (or lack of) which is mainly my fault at the moment due to a knackered ankle.
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Re: The Fat Lazy Sh*ts Thread - 2011

Post by HappyGoLucky @ Wed Dec 29, 2010 1:34 pm

coolcatmaz wrote:My biggest task will be cutting down the intake Mr Maz shovels down his throat as he can and will eat for England. He blames me for his weight gain, too much nice food though I do point out I don't force feed him

I was the same but find that I can't eat anywhere near as much as I used to now.

coolcatmaz wrote:We don't eat unhealthily, seldom have biscuits, sweets, chocolate or crisps in the house, and all our meals are fresh prepared and cooked daily.

I think this helps a lot.
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Re: The Fat Lazy Sh*ts Thread - 2011

Post by dougc @ Wed Dec 29, 2010 2:07 pm

The dougc diet regime:

Breakfast - large Americano, black. Marlboro light
Lunch - Sandwich, coffee, cigarette
Dinner - Well rounded meat/carb/veg meal. Usually pretty big. Don't hold back if its healthy. Eat as much veg as you like. No frying anything or chips though.

No takeaways
No chocolate
No biscuits

Run a couple of times a week. No gym or anything, just out on the road. Its free!

Lay off the booze during the week but the weekends its up to you. Ditto with the diet. If you're going out for dinner on a Saturday night, don't scrimp around for the healthiest thing on the menu and sit there in awe as your fellow diners get stuck into a massive piece of nearly raw cow. Life's too short.

If you feel hungry during the day, suck it up and get on with it. Losing weight isn't easy. It will be hard to do and you will feel hungry, especially for the first 2 or 3 weeks as you get used to eating less food.

I know it sounds a bit superficial but go stand in front of the mirror in your pants before you start out and take a photo. Each Monday, do the same thing. by the end of the first month you'll see a big difference and it'll spur you on.

I lost 2 and a half stone in 4 months at the beginning of the year. Dropped from 36 to 32/33 waist, 44/46 chest to a 42 and I now have to actually try stuff on before I buy it rather than the standard practice of buying everything in XL. Being able to choose what you want to wear rather than whatever stops you looking like a fat bastard is also a nice feeling.
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Re: The Fat Lazy Sh*ts Thread - 2011

Post by mimi @ Wed Dec 29, 2010 2:15 pm

dougc wrote:The dougc diet regime:

Breakfast - large Americano, black. Marlboro light
Lunch - Sandwich, coffee, cigarette
Dinner - Well rounded meat/carb/veg meal. Usually pretty big. Don't hold back if its healthy. Eat as much veg as you like. No frying anything or chips though.

No takeaways
No chocolate
No biscuits


Run a couple of times a week. No gym or anything, just out on the road. Its free!

Lay off the booze during the week but the weekends its up to you. Ditto with the diet. If you're going out for dinner on a Saturday night, don't scrimp around for the healthiest thing on the menu and sit there in awe as your fellow diners get stuck into a massive piece of nearly raw cow. Life's too short.

are you using the coffee/fag combo as a laxative?

this sounds like a big fail to me (I've done it), it does work until you start eating normally, i.e. having breakfast and lunch. also, if you're going to have a large meal don't make it your dinner, have it at lunch time if possible. you'll muck up your metabolism otherwise.
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Re: The Fat Lazy Sh*ts Thread - 2011

Post by Strawman @ Wed Dec 29, 2010 2:59 pm

I have an ideal BMI (21.7 fact fans) but am a Lazy Shit*, so can I join in this thread ?



*get out of breath tying my shoelaces.
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Re: The Fat Lazy Sh*ts Thread - 2011

Post by mybrainhurts @ Wed Dec 29, 2010 3:48 pm

I am a fat bastard....

Feed me pies and beer...
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Re: The Fat Lazy Sh*ts Thread - 2011

Post by One MoreDonkey @ Wed Dec 29, 2010 4:59 pm

That's half of Mr Maz's problem, too much home brew and not enough exercise. He shouldn't find it too much of a hardship though, being only 27 he should have plenty of energy still.



unlike the rest of us old farts
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Re: The Fat Lazy Sh*ts Thread - 2011

Post by Gnostic Ascent @ Wed Dec 29, 2010 5:24 pm

Solution is simple.

Get back on the bike.
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Re: The Fat Lazy Sh*ts Thread - 2011

Post by LotusNova @ Wed Dec 29, 2010 5:27 pm

Gnostic Ascent wrote:Solution is simple.

Get back on the bike.


:nono:

Change eating/drinking habits first - then exercise. Doing it the other way round, you simple consume more to make up for the (very few) calories expended.
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Re: The Fat Lazy Sh*ts Thread - 2011

Post by Careless Whisperer @ Wed Dec 29, 2010 6:00 pm

Gnostic Ascent wrote:Solution is simple.

Get back on the bike.


Hmmm... I still have my last road race bike from my racing days. A diagram of the riding position is below:

Saddle.



.................................................................Handlebars.









......Pedals.


A diagram of what I can physically reach at the moment is below:


......................................Handlebars.

Saddle.










.............Pedals.


And for comedy value, my old TT bike would have been something like this:

...Saddle.







...............................................................................Handlebars.









Pedals.


Weight loss and gently build up the fitness is the only way for me. If I keep it up, I may be able to be back to racing by the time I'm a veteran.
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Re: The Fat Lazy Sh*ts Thread - 2011

Post by Pigeon @ Wed Dec 29, 2010 6:10 pm

WD40 wrote:my upper arms being pipe-cleaneresque and narrower than my forearms at the respective widest points of both.


Image
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Re: The Fat Lazy Sh*ts Thread - 2011

Post by LotusNova @ Wed Dec 29, 2010 6:14 pm

:hehe:
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Re: The Fat Lazy Sh*ts Thread - 2011

Post by NNK @ Wed Dec 29, 2010 6:58 pm

I'm 93kg but probably should be about 85 (1.83m/6'), 34" waist but have , and probably always will have, a gut. I eat very well and drink far more than I should according to many tv programmes.
I play squash every week day and tennis once or twice a week plus a bit of football with my son, how do I shift that gut ? Does it have to be a diet or would 1000 situps a day do it ?
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Re: The Fat Lazy Sh*ts Thread - 2011

Post by LotusNova @ Wed Dec 29, 2010 7:16 pm

NNK wrote:I'm 93kg but probably should be about 85 (1.83m/6'), 34" waist but have , and probably always will have, a gut. I eat very well and drink far more than I should according to many tv programmes.
I play squash every week day and tennis once or twice a week plus a bit of football with my son, how do I shift that gut ? Does it have to be a diet or would 1000 situps a day do it ?


Exercise burns very few calories.

Sugar & alcohol are the biggest weight-showstoppers. Most folks can lose if they throttle down on those a bit, without having to resort to crazy diets.
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Re: The Fat Lazy Sh*ts Thread - 2011

Post by NNK @ Wed Dec 29, 2010 7:20 pm

Cheers for that, sadly it may not happen then.
Anyway, I'll sign up for the CTF Blubber Loss Comp, if there is one, and give it a go. Starting 10th Jan as I'm away from NYE til then.
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Re: The Fat Lazy Sh*ts Thread - 2011

Post by WD40 @ Wed Dec 29, 2010 7:22 pm

Pigeon wrote:
WD40 wrote:my upper arms being pipe-cleaneresque and narrower than my forearms at the respective widest points of both.

>Popeye pic<


:hehe:

Git.
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Re: The Fat Lazy Sh*ts Thread - 2011

Post by mimi @ Wed Dec 29, 2010 7:25 pm

LotusNova wrote:
Exercise burns [b]very few calories.[/b]

Sugar & alcohol are the biggest weight-showstoppers. Most folks can lose if they throttle down on those a bit, without having to resort to crazy diets.


it works if you counter act (negate) the calories put in and then some, but it takes a lot of effort. it's best if you just combine steady exercise with better, healthy eating and over time the weight will drop.
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Re: The Fat Lazy Sh*ts Thread - 2011

Post by Ghost @ Wed Dec 29, 2010 7:36 pm

LotusNova wrote:
Gnostic Ascent wrote:Solution is simple.

Get back on the bike.


:nono:

Change eating/drinking habits first - then exercise. Doing it the other way round, you simple consume more to make up for the (very few) calories expended.


^^^ This. If you are time poor, then controlling the amount you eat will have far greater effect than exercising more. If you can combine the two, then so much the better. Even if you work your bollox off in the gym, what are you going to do? 500 -600 calories an hour whilst exercising? Set what you could burn off this way in say, 3 hours of exercise a week, against that mystical average male calorie consumption of 2500 calories a day, or 17500 a week, and exercise doesn't contribute that much of a burn alone.
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Re: The Fat Lazy Sh*ts Thread - 2011

Post by NNK @ Wed Dec 29, 2010 7:50 pm

Ghost wrote:[ mystical average male calorie consumption of 2500 calories a day


I'm about 2000 a day in lager !
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