Golf - from hackers to all the gear no idea.

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Golf - from hackers to all the gear no idea.

Post by Merp @ Wed Jun 05, 2013 11:34 pm

I'd a bit of a search for this and didn't come across a generic golf thread.
I've just read the whole Hank Haney book today on Tiger Woods - The big miss.
Straight down the driving range this evening, it was good to get back out there.

Do we have any other regulars?

It's that time of the year again. My clubs are still in m lightweight bag from last "Summer", I really should play more!
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Post by deev @ Wed Jun 05, 2013 11:50 pm

I was off 13 at school, no idea what I'd be now, I still play sporadically through summer but tearing both my shoulders and separating both of my AC joints doing judo means I have a pretty ropey swing these days. LHD plays a fair bit iirc, dunno if he still posts on here though.
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Re: Golf - from hackers to all the gear no idea.

Post by NNK @ Thu Jun 06, 2013 1:35 am

I used to play regularly (but was never any good), now only play once or twice a year.
A shame as I do enjoy it, perhaps as my son gets older we'll play a few rounds.
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Post by Strawman @ Thu Jun 06, 2013 5:48 am

I've played it a bit, I have more fun on a driving range to be honest and hate putting, if the aim was just to get the ball on the green I'd have a low score.
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Re: Golf - from hackers to all the gear no idea.

Post by Monty @ Thu Jun 06, 2013 7:47 am

I used to just about manage to play off a dodgy 14 on my easy local course. In reality 18 would have been a fairer assessment of my abilities ten years ago, which is when I'd play once or twice a week.
I haven't swung a club in anger for some years now, sadly.
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Re: Golf - from hackers to all the gear no idea.

Post by Turntable @ Thu Jun 06, 2013 8:09 am

I enjoy it but am terrible. The less I play the worse I get and the worse I get the longer it is until I play next time.
THe last time I played was my worst ever round so I haven't played for 2 years now.
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Post by Deuteronomy @ Thu Jun 06, 2013 8:36 am

Not played for about 3 years now, I do enjoy it a lot, nice walk with good company. My short game is awful, I'm a bit of the black sheep of the family when it comes to golf, my late grandmother played off an astounding +3 to 5. She could out-drive all the men in the family (we're all a decent size too*) whereas she was slightly under 5' - goes to show how much is in technique.

I remember my late father telling me that she always said that the most awful thing about golf was somebody parking in your space (she was ladies Captain and therefore had a parking space at the club)



*Not fat KM, you heartless fcuking beast!
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Post by DI Burnside @ Thu Jun 06, 2013 8:49 am

I used to play regularly, I even went to Spain a couple of times to play, and got my handicap down to 12 but I've probably only played 2 or 3 times in the last 2 years.

My youngest is getting into it a bit so it'd be nice to play with him when he gets a bit bigger.
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Re: Golf - from hackers to all the gear no idea.

Post by Strawman @ Thu Jun 06, 2013 8:55 am

Duke Thrust wrote: she was slightly under 5' - goes to show how much is in technique.


Ian Woosnam who was/is short and fat, could drive the ball a ridiculous distance IIRC. It's not really a sport though is it? Anything you can play while smoking can't be classified as sport IMO.
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Post by Tokyo Sexwale @ Thu Jun 06, 2013 8:58 am

I find it a ridiculous sport although I quite enjoy it. I am prettyshit at it however.
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Post by nakedninja @ Thu Jun 06, 2013 9:10 am

I do not understand golf. The man who sits next to me and moans about everything in his whole life only has golf as his one remaining piece of happiness. He'll talk about match play and weird scoring shit and learning to putt blind so that he can visualise where the ball is going to go and he gets right on my tits. Plus I don't want to like golf and don't really like him so ignore most of what he says. I already have enough hobbies I can't afford or spend enough time on, I don't need another.
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Re: Golf - from hackers to all the gear no idea.

Post by Tumescent Acorn @ Thu Jun 06, 2013 9:27 am

I've hacked around a couple of 9 hole courses once or twice. It is sort of fun for about 20 minutes until you realise hitting the ball as hard as you can all the time is not going well for you.

The image of golfers sort of puts me off too I must admit.
I could be wrong of course, but then I look at who has admitted to being regulars on here....

I can see the appeal of a game with mates, some gentle exercise, and something that requires thinking and skill rather than just athleticism, and maybe a pint afterwards. I played Cricket for years after all.
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Re: Golf - from hackers to all the gear no idea.

Post by Merp @ Thu Jun 06, 2013 9:47 am

I played since I was a junior, easy for our parents to drop me and my bro off at the club house during the holidays. There was usually a big bunch of us practicing or competing daily. Bowl of cheesy chips at lunch, happy days.

I dropped off in my late teens, mainly due to women, cars and alcohol.
I don't compete at the moment unless its a work society game, I just tend to have a few rounds in the sun with some mates and a few beers.
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Post by Käsemeister @ Thu Jun 06, 2013 1:21 pm

Duke Thrust wrote:*Not fat KM, you heartless fcuking beast!


But she was a behemoth.
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Post by DI Burnside @ Fri Aug 08, 2014 6:57 pm

I took my youngest round the local par 3 yesterday, and took my clubs and played with him today. He's got a tidy little swing, much better than mine, and even beat me on the hardest hole on the course !

This his little chip & run onto the last green :-)

https://vimeo.com/102948635

I surprised myself by not falling over when playing a shot, and despite not playing for a few years managed to notch up a few pars ! With the lad very keen I can see myself getting into it again.
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Post by Piquet @ Fri Aug 08, 2014 8:18 pm

I know nothing about golf but that does look like a good swing, and if you hadn't given me the backstory I would have assumed he was a midget actual golfer.
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Post by Tokyo Sexwale @ Tue May 02, 2017 2:08 pm

Tokyo Sexwale wrote:I find it a ridiculous sport although I quite enjoy it. I am prettyshit at it however.

4 years later and I have just been to the driving range for the first time in years.

Am still pretty shit but 1:10 balls is a peach - I've got a game in a fortnight, I intend to go to the range as much as possible in that time and get that down to 1:3. I've just been given a nice bag of decent clubs so need to get better and use them.

Who else plays and what are the best top tips?!
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Post by Barbarianna @ Tue May 02, 2017 2:27 pm

I blaze down the local driving range every now and then to smash'em out. Somehow very satisfying to connect the driver to the little fcuker sweetly and see it huzz off into the distance in a clean whoosh of a line.

Doubtless you can now tell that I am shit at the game. My dad is well into it, going off for competitions and whatnot as much as he can, the old retired cad!.
If I needed reassuraqnce as to how crap I was, I got it last time I went to the range, when I borrowed one of the drivers from the onsite pro-shop. A graphite affair with packaging and colours reminiscent of shiny Power Ranger accessories.

Well, on one shot I hit the ball too high on its surface, and it clonked upwards into the wooden ceiling in the pavilion. That is not infrequent with me. But what made me really proud was that the head of the club broke clean off when I did it, ripping a break into the lower part of the shaft. The other golfers were already a little cautious around me because I do starjumps etc before I start hitting the ball, so they all stopped spontaneously and let me wander out onto the range to retrieve the head, about 30 yards off down the slope. Luckily it was one of those screw-on heads so I only had to pay for a new shaft. Booya!
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Post by Tokyo Sexwale @ Tue May 02, 2017 2:35 pm

Barbarianna wrote:Well, on one shot I hit the ball too high on its surface, and it clonked upwards into the wooden ceiling in the pavilion. That is not infrequent with me. But what made me really proud was that the head of the club broke clean off when I did it, ripping a break into the lower part of the shaft.

:laugh: :laugh:

Brilliant!

I was also smashing some balls into the ceiling every now and then - terrifying for everyone as I do NOT hold back on power regardless of control.

Also, how brilliant are driving ranges now? This one had power tees or something so you didn't need to bend over and put a ball on the tee! It just keep teeing them up as fast as I could wallop them at full power. It is so satisfying when you get one right and I got a fair few as far as 250 yards I think, wish I'd filmed them now.
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Post by Disastrous @ Tue May 02, 2017 2:37 pm

Barbarianna wrote:I blaze down the local driving range every now and then to smash'em out. Somehow very satisfying to connect the driver to the little fcuker sweetly and see it huzz off into the distance in a clean whoosh of a line.

Doubtless you can now tell that I am shit at the game. My dad is well into it, going off for competitions and whatnot as much as he can, the old retired cad!.
If I needed reassuraqnce as to how crap I was, I got it last time I went to the range, when I borrowed one of the drivers from the onsite pro-shop. A graphite affair with packaging and colours reminiscent of shiny Power Ranger accessories.

Well, on one shot I hit the ball too high on its surface, and it clonked upwards into the wooden ceiling in the pavilion. That is not infrequent with me. But what made me really proud was that the head of the club broke clean off when I did it, ripping a break into the lower part of the shaft. The other golfers were already a little cautious around me because I do starjumps etc before I start hitting the ball, so they all stopped spontaneously and let me wander out onto the range to retrieve the head, about 30 yards off down the slope. Luckily it was one of those screw-on heads so I only had to pay for a new shaft. Booya!



Laugh! I'd blame the pro for that - he gave you a club too weak for your power!

Coincidentally, I've organised a round in a few weeks too. Used to play quite a bit as a schoolboy but was never great, although dad is, and is now a qualified coach in his retirement. He teaches the club juniors and loves it so shall ask him for some advice if you like Tokes...

Driving is my 'thing' now though, what with my extraordinary powerful upper body and core. "Like watching a Silverback tee off at Augusta!" exclaimed an onlooker, last time I smashed one out the back of the range and into the next county. "Like a raging Christ figure who tore himself off the cross and looked at the Romans with blood in his eyes and said 'My turn, cocksuckers'" the pro said. Good times. My time.
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Post by Tokyo Sexwale @ Tue May 02, 2017 2:43 pm

That would be great Dis - if you explain that I am a monster of a man, who's having trouble getting his power down as the forces involved are just too high for conventional physics to explain that would be great. Also, please add that the ball seems to go anywhere but more often than not to the left and sometimes too high/low. Please also stress once again my strength.
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Post by Disastrous @ Tue May 02, 2017 2:52 pm

Tokyo Sexwale wrote:That would be great Dis - if you explain that I am a monster of a man, who's having trouble getting his power down as the forces involved are just too high for conventional physics to explain that would be great. Also, please add that the ball seems to go anywhere but more often than not to the left and sometimes too high/low. Please also stress once again my strength.



You're in luck as his area of expertise - as a direct result of teaching me - is taming and harnessing extraordinary strength and power. The good news is once tamed, you will deliver the club head to the ball with approximately the same amount of force as a nuclear detonation, the likes of which once levelled Japanese cities. In fact, I'm not even allowed to play golf in Japan as their buildings are less structurally sound than ours and it would be murder.
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Post by DI Burnside @ Tue May 02, 2017 2:53 pm

I'm too much of a spastic now, the last time I played was with my lad (11/12 at the time) a couple of years back on the local par 3 course and the smug little cnut beat me by 4 strokes !
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Post by thekungfury @ Tue May 02, 2017 2:58 pm

I love rolling up with the set of clubs by dad bought 25yrs ago and having none of the gear with a tiny bit of an idea. Played regularly as a junior and although I've only had maybe 5 games in 10yrs the muscle memory is there and I'm surprisingly not awful.

What I find helps is not trying to knock the skin off the ball and just let the club do the work. We're big, powerful, handsome men and even swinging it gently is brutal.
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Post by Disastrous @ Tue May 02, 2017 3:03 pm

PS - Tokes, do you have a girly, whippy carbon shafted driver thing?

That solved all my directional issues. The main problem was that due to the enormous head-speed I was generating, my hands and shaft were past the ball long before the head, meaning it was able to twist and whip the ball off at a hook or a slice. I went old-skool and got a really heavy stiff driver that is basically just a fire-poker with a brick on the end and all my problems were solved. Naturally, it's like Thor's Hammer in that nobody else can wield it or lift it so I named it Mjölnir and it takes pride of place in my bag now. Remember, most golf clubs were designed for fat old men to play with so will naturally be designed to flatter that sort of stroke.

Even looking at the current crop of Pros, you'd have to think they were of poor stock, wouldn't you? Skinny, with tiny arms and weak spines. That's not us, is it, so why would we be using their clubs?
Last edited by Disastrous on Tue May 02, 2017 3:03 pm, edited 1 time in total.
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Post by Monty @ Tue May 02, 2017 3:14 pm

thekungfury wrote:What I find helps is not trying to knock the skin off the ball and just let the club do the work. We're big, powerful, handsome men and even swinging it gently is brutal.


This.
And don't look up immediately after hitting the ball trying to see where it goes.
Use a 3 or 5 wood rather than a driver...I know you're just a few notches away from turning pro...but it's the basics that one needs to keep a hold of!
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Post by Greg66 @ Tue May 02, 2017 3:28 pm

I am shit at golf, don't like it and don't like watching it.

Isn't it the case that golfers all "tee off" together then as soon as they are out of sight of the clubhouse bundle each other into the bushes for sordid man-bumming sexual encounters of the below par kind? Is that what the "thirteenth hole" is? Correct me if I am wrong, but I am not wrong, and it most certainly is.
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Post by Strawman @ Tue May 02, 2017 3:40 pm

Could be why Trump is always playing it.
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Post by Tokyo Sexwale @ Tue May 02, 2017 3:47 pm

thekungfury wrote:What I find helps is not trying to knock the skin off the ball and just let the club do the work. We're big, powerful, handsome men and even swinging it gently is brutal.


Easy to say but hard to control the urge I find.

Disastrous wrote:PS - Tokes, do you have a girly, whippy carbon shafted driver thing?

That solved all my directional issues. The main problem was that due to the enormous head-speed I was generating, my hands and shaft were past the ball long before the head, meaning it was able to twist and whip the ball off at a hook or a slice. I went old-skool and got a really heavy stiff driver that is basically just a fire-poker with a brick on the end and all my problems were solved. Naturally, it's like Thor's Hammer in that nobody else can wield it or lift it so I named it Mjölnir and it takes pride of place in my bag now. Remember, most golf clubs were designed for fat old men to play with so will naturally be designed to flatter that sort of stroke.

Even looking at the current crop of Pros, you'd have to think they were of poor stock, wouldn't you? Skinny, with tiny arms and weak spines. That's not us, is it, so why would we be using their clubs?

Makes a lot of sense. I've no idea what the clubs are made of - they're quite good ones I think and seem to be able to cope with the forces. I agree with your thinking though, I will never restrict my output to account for a weakness in material. Make better clubs, next!

Monty wrote:And don't look up immediately after hitting the ball trying to see where it goes.
Use a 3 or 5 wood rather than a driver...I know you're just a few notches away from turning pro...but it's the basics that one needs to keep a hold of!


Yes I remembered that today on the range after looking up a few times! I've got a 5 wood and a recovery 3 wood in my bag - I've never been able to use a driver consistently. I've also never been able to use any club consistently really.
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Post by Dirk @ Tue May 02, 2017 3:53 pm

Tokyo Sexwale wrote:
thekungfury wrote:What I find helps is not trying to knock the skin off the ball and just let the club do the work. We're big, powerful, handsome men and even swinging it gently is brutal.


Easy to say but hard to control the urge I find.

I think you intended to make that reply to Greg
Greg66 wrote:I am shit at golf, don't like it and don't like watching it.

Isn't it the case that golfers all "tee off" together then as soon as they are out of sight of the clubhouse bundle each other into the bushes for sordid man-bumming sexual encounters of the below par kind?.
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