Porsche Cayman S 2013 Driven

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Porsche Cayman S 2013 Driven

Post by Il Duce @ Mon Aug 12, 2013 3:42 pm

Let me start by saying that I have an old model one of these so obv anything you read will be biased because of sour grapes at not being able to afford a new one.

And off we go.

Mine is in for a suspension arm replacement, thankfully under warranty, so I was given this for 5 days by the dealer.
They think I'll buy one. They don't know I am poor.

Outside: It looks lovely but I'm not sure about the rear hatch, I think I prefer mine.

Inside: the centre console is quite high and makes it feel a bit cramped. The dashboard vents have bright chrome surrounds which pick up the sun and reflect it into your eyes so they are a shit idea. The rear boot is smaller. Yes smaller. So your custom luggage will now not fit and neither will any other suitcase, so you'll have to buy new custom ones. Ta.

The steering: It's electric. There is not as much feedback as mine. Honestly. It's not good. Like wearing a condom. Still sex but not as much fun.

The suspension: Fvcking PASM- electric suspension with two settings- normal and sport. It's massivley shit. Turn in and there's a split second of flop before it decides to stiffen up. Very disconcerting. On sport settings it does the same but bounces down the road feeling sporty. That said, it was hard to tell what was going on because the fvcking seats are too bouncy. Yes bouncy. Go over a bump and you should go boing down into the seat and then come back up and stop. Not this one. Boing down, bounce back up, and then down half a boing and back up. Jiggly. Shite. Round the corners it's on rails but didn't inspire confidence because I wasn't getting any feedback.

Gearbox: a PDK fvcker with the paddle change and 7 gears. The change is lighting fast and you don't feel it. Unless you engage the sport plus button. Then the changes are paddle only and just as fast but give you a kick in the back to feel sporty. Stupid. Only cool thing is, it does a perfect throttle blip on the down change- excellent! and a lovely noise.

Engine- 320 bhp- silly fast but you don't get the sensation of it being so. Floor it. Bang you're doing 3 figures, no drama. Not fun though.

Noise- fvck me the tyres make too much noise!

Finally- In the instrument binnacle, there's a speedo, a rev counter and in the third you can select a number of information options, or current radio channel, or phone status.
Or G-meter. Yes, a fvcking g-meter. Spastic.


So to sum up.
It felt like a fast BMW. Not special at all. Not at all raw. Ever so slightly anaesthetised. As if you were driving it whilst wearing mittens and a duvet. And it's 60k not 48k because you'll need at least 12k of extras so it doesn't feel like a base 1980's Fiesta. Porsche you are cvnts.
Last edited by Il Duce on Mon Aug 12, 2013 3:44 pm, edited 1 time in total.
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Re: Porsche Cayman S 2013 Driven

Post by Strawman @ Mon Aug 12, 2013 3:45 pm

Sounds almost like a Windows 8 version of a previously decent car, shame.
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Re: Porsche Cayman S 2013 Driven

Post by Il Duce @ Mon Aug 12, 2013 3:47 pm

Strawman wrote:Sounds almost like a Windows 8 version of a previously decent car, shame.


If you'd never had Windows XP, windows 8 would be good yes?
Same with the car.
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Re: Porsche Cayman S 2013 Driven

Post by WalMitty @ Mon Aug 12, 2013 4:01 pm

Il Duce wrote:
Outside: It looks lovely but I'm not sure about the rear hatch, I think I prefer mine.



I agree.

Il Duce wrote:Engine- 320 bhp- silly fast but you don't get the sensation of it being so. Floor it. Bang you're doing 3 figures, no drama. Not fun though.


I thought that when I had a brief drive or your shape of Cayman, which really suprised me. It worries me that this shape is even worse.

Have you ever driven a Cayman R or Boxster Spyder?
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Re: Porsche Cayman S 2013 Driven

Post by Il Duce @ Mon Aug 12, 2013 5:24 pm

WalMitty wrote:
Il Duce wrote:
Outside: It looks lovely but I'm not sure about the rear hatch, I think I prefer mine.



I agree.

Il Duce wrote:Engine- 320 bhp- silly fast but you don't get the sensation of it being so. Floor it. Bang you're doing 3 figures, no drama. Not fun though.


I thought that when I had a brief drive or your shape of Cayman, which really suprised me. It worries me that this shape is even worse.

Have you ever driven a Cayman R or Boxster Spyder?


Cayman r but it had the disabled gearbox and that fvcking PASM so it was bound to be a cnut.

I did a test on here somewhere.
Last edited by Il Duce on Mon Aug 12, 2013 5:25 pm, edited 1 time in total.
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Re: Porsche Cayman S 2013 Driven

Post by Anotherconvert @ Mon Aug 12, 2013 6:50 pm

Interesting.

When I bought the money pit the wife insisted I tried some other cars in a vain attempt to deflect me.

I had a boxster, 911 2, an Elise, a DB9 and a 360 to test.

My logic went;

DB9 - I wasn't old enough and it steered like a pig, was too heavy and not what I wanted in a 3rd car.

360 - oh I loved that. Wife didn't and I was a bit worried about running costs, hah.

Elise - too small.

The Porches - well I didn't really fit the boxster, my head was on the roof, as for driving them, I found them exactly as you describe. Very functional mind, but with little sense of involvement, dead steering (911 much more so) especially around straight ahead and a bit see-saw ish.

Oh, and I suppose not wanting to like them didn't help.

If she says I told you so, I've threatened to throw her in the river.
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Re: Porsche Cayman S 2013 Driven

Post by Ghost @ Mon Aug 12, 2013 9:09 pm

Seems I have read a lot of reviews like this of the new generation Porsches. Thing is they probably don't care what we think because the UK is a relatively small market and because they can sell all they can build to the Chinese/Russian/Indian nouveaus!

Think I will be staying with my analogue 993!
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Re: Porsche Cayman S 2013 Driven

Post by Anotherconvert @ Mon Aug 12, 2013 9:25 pm

Which was the last Porsche I really liked.

However as a side note. Friend of mine just picked up a 2002 C4S. Full history 70k miles, all the troublesome oil seals done. 13k.

Got to be one of the all time performance bargains. It is spotless with loads of extras on it.
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Re: Porsche Cayman S 2013 Driven

Post by Ghost @ Mon Aug 12, 2013 10:01 pm

Anotherconvert wrote:Which was the last Porsche I really liked.

However as a side note. Friend of mine just picked up a 2002 C4S. Full history 70k miles, all the troublesome oil seals done. 13k.

Got to be one of the all time performance bargains. It is spotless with loads of extras on it.


Interweb lore has it that he is doomed, doomed I tell ye!!!!
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Re: Porsche Cayman S 2013 Driven

Post by WalMitty @ Tue Aug 13, 2013 8:21 am

Ghost wrote: Thing is they probably don't care what we think because the UK is a relatively small market and because they can sell all they can build to the Chinese/Russian/Indian nouveaus!



More important than you might think.
The Chinese dont buy sportscars (hence why the Panamera and Cayenne are so profitable for Porsche), Russia/India isnt that large yet, and German/UK sportscar market is a pretty similar in size generally alternating between 3rd/4th biggest market depening on marque. You have however missed out the US.
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Re: Porsche Cayman S 2013 Driven

Post by Tokyo Sexwale @ Tue Aug 13, 2013 8:31 am

Anotherconvert wrote:Which was the last Porsche I really liked.

However as a side note. Friend of mine just picked up a 2002 C4S. Full history 70k miles, all the troublesome oil seals done. 13k.

Got to be one of the all time performance bargains. It is spotless with loads of extras on it.


Sounds like a bargain
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Re: Porsche Cayman S 2013 Driven

Post by Strawman @ Tue Aug 13, 2013 8:35 am

I doubt the Russian market for Porsche is going to grow much in the next ten years, apart from gas & oil what do they export? Plus what wealth there is remains largely with a few individuals AFAIK.
Porsche Market size in 2012 was US>China>Germany>UK, I bet few would have predicted 10 years ago China would be the second largest market.
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Re: Porsche Cayman S 2013 Driven

Post by Disastrous @ Tue Aug 13, 2013 8:37 am

Slightly O/T but watched the latest EVO video last night and was struck by something:

I've never been into the Carrera GT, always thinking it looked just like a fat Porsche and lacking in the sort of impact I'd want my supercar to have. Suddenly, in the company of the F1, Zonda etc I was struck by how good it looks now, how amazing it sounds and how much I want one. Bizarre turnabout for me.
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Re: Porsche Cayman S 2013 Driven

Post by WalMitty @ Tue Aug 13, 2013 8:53 am

Disastrous wrote:Slightly O/T but watched the latest EVO video last night and was struck by something:

I've never been into the Carrera GT, always thinking it looked just like a fat Porsche and lacking in the sort of impact I'd want my supercar to have. Suddenly, in the company of the F1, Zonda etc I was struck by how good it looks now, how amazing it sounds and how much I want one. Bizarre turnabout for me.


I love the CGT. I've gazed at one for a good 15 minutes just taking in the lines. It's only when you really look closely that you realise that it is much more than a fat Boxster, and is clearly something very special. Same, with the 959.
I've also spent 15 minutes staring at the very Zonda from that video, and the this did not happen.
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Re: Porsche Cayman S 2013 Driven

Post by WD40 @ Tue Aug 13, 2013 8:57 am

Second Marine wrote:
Anotherconvert wrote:Which was the last Porsche I really liked.

However as a side note. Friend of mine just picked up a 2002 C4S. Full history 70k miles, all the troublesome oil seals done. 13k.

Got to be one of the all time performance bargains. It is spotless with loads of extras on it.


Sounds like a bargain


C4 S was introduced in 2004, £13k would be a very good price for one as aside from GT3s, they're the most sought after NA 996 variant.

£13k and 2002 sounds like regular C4 value, either dear for a 3.4 or cheapish for a 3.6.
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Re: Porsche Cayman S 2013 Driven

Post by Tokyo Sexwale @ Tue Aug 13, 2013 9:00 am

WD40 wrote:
C4 S was introduced in 2004


No, 2002.
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Re: Porsche Cayman S 2013 Driven

Post by Il Duce @ Tue Aug 13, 2013 9:15 am

WalMitty wrote:
Ghost wrote: Thing is they probably don't care what we think because the UK is a relatively small market and because they can sell all they can build to the Chinese/Russian/Indian nouveaus!



More important than you might think.
The Chinese dont buy sportscars (hence why the Panamera and Cayenne are so profitable for Porsche), Russia/India isnt that large yet, and German/UK sportscar market is a pretty similar in size generally alternating between 3rd/4th biggest market depening on marque. You have however missed out the US.



Which explains every shitty thing on the car.

Oh I forgot to mention the buffeting with the window open. You know how, now and again, you like to drop the window and blast along country lanes listening to the sexysound exhaust? Forget it. get to about 55 and unless you get the window opening just right you get this sort of massive wuh wuh wuh pressure wave noise that fvcks your ears and head. stupidcar.
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Re: Porsche Cayman S 2013 Driven

Post by Dirk @ Tue Aug 13, 2013 9:44 am

Il Duce wrote:
Oh I forgot to mention the buffeting with the window open. You know how, now and again, you like to drop the window and blast along country lanes listening to the sexysound exhaust? Forget it. get to about 55 and unless you get the window opening just right you get this sort of massive wuh wuh wuh pressure wave noise that fvcks your ears and head. stupidcar.

Open the window the other side as well
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Re: Porsche Cayman S 2013 Driven

Post by Il Duce @ Tue Aug 13, 2013 9:58 am

Arthur Scherbius wrote:
Il Duce wrote:
Oh I forgot to mention the buffeting with the window open. You know how, now and again, you like to drop the window and blast along country lanes listening to the sexysound exhaust? Forget it. get to about 55 and unless you get the window opening just right you get this sort of massive wuh wuh wuh pressure wave noise that fvcks your ears and head. stupidcar.

Open the window the other side as well


I know what you're getting at but it still does it unless you get the levels just right and the draught with both open is wigshattering.
My car doesn't do it and I've never come across anything like it before apart from when I went in a 1983 XR2, and the glass sunroof instead of just being tilted, was completely removed.

What the fvck have they done to make it like that?
And didn't someone notice when they were testing it?
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Re: Porsche Cayman S 2013 Driven

Post by onomatopoeia @ Tue Aug 13, 2013 10:08 am

Anotherconvert wrote:The Porches - well I didn't really fit the boxster, my head was on the roof, as for driving them, I found them exactly as you describe. Very functional mind, but with little sense of involvement, dead steering (911 much more so) especially around straight ahead and a bit see-saw ish.

Don't know how old the car you tried was, but my 986 is not at all like that. No electric suspension with "modes" on it though.
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Re: Porsche Cayman S 2013 Driven

Post by Strawman @ Tue Aug 13, 2013 1:23 pm

Disastrous wrote:Slightly O/T but watched the latest EVO video last night and was struck by something:

I've never been into the Carrera GT, always thinking it looked just like a fat Porsche and lacking in the sort of impact I'd want my supercar to have. Suddenly, in the company of the F1, Zonda etc I was struck by how good it looks now, how amazing it sounds and how much I want one. Bizarre turnabout for me.


This video?

Original video page: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QCpCbZaD8xc


The sound at 11:38 on from the CGT is amazing. I wasn't so keen on H. Metcalf as a presenter though, way too geeky.
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Re: Porsche Cayman S 2013 Driven

Post by Disastrous @ Tue Aug 13, 2013 1:29 pm

You mean Catchpole, SM? But yeah, I agree.

He does a weird gesture with his right hand repeatedly when talking about the gear shift that somehow signposted him as a bit of a party pest to me.

I reckon they should have a well blasé rich Northerner wearing linens and smoking a tab out the window as he reviews them. He'd be a local boy what done good and have a fake tan. Yes.

"That Eff Forteh, lucks like it were finished by one of lads down me ware-ouse...rowbbish bit o' kit."
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Re: Porsche Cayman S 2013 Driven

Post by Strawman @ Tue Aug 13, 2013 1:36 pm

Yeah Catchpole, that is even a nerdy name. The awful yellow t-shirt and the paedo glasses and the stubble is not a good look.
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Re: Porsche Cayman S 2013 Driven

Post by stuart @ Tue Aug 13, 2013 1:45 pm

I just found it weird how he was in the Mclaren that whole time even when talking about the other cars.
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Re: Porsche Cayman S 2013 Driven

Post by Strawman @ Tue Aug 13, 2013 1:52 pm

Easier to setup the camera once I suppose. The main thing is the magazine article and the video is just for marketing.
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Re: Porsche Cayman S 2013 Driven

Post by Disastrous @ Tue Aug 13, 2013 1:55 pm

Quite shitly filmed though.

IMO, 2-3 minutes is a promo video but near enough 20 is getting into the realms of a proper programme.

I think as a format, 20 minute car videos by respected journos is a pretty good idea, but unfortunately, most of them (journos) are quite shite at speaking to camera and just sound like they're reading out a story, which they are.
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Re: Porsche Cayman S 2013 Driven

Post by Il Duce @ Tue Aug 13, 2013 2:14 pm

Disastrous wrote:Quite shitly filmed though.

IMO, 2-3 minutes is a promo video but near enough 20 is getting into the realms of a proper programme.

I think as a format, 20 minute car videos by respected journos is a pretty good idea, but unfortunately, most of them (journos) are quite shite at speaking to camera and just sound like they're reading out a story, which they are.



So we've all finished discussing the Cayman then?
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Re: Porsche Cayman S 2013 Driven

Post by Disastrous @ Tue Aug 13, 2013 2:17 pm

Il Duce wrote:
Disastrous wrote:Quite shitly filmed though.

IMO, 2-3 minutes is a promo video but near enough 20 is getting into the realms of a proper programme.

I think as a format, 20 minute car videos by respected journos is a pretty good idea, but unfortunately, most of them (journos) are quite shite at speaking to camera and just sound like they're reading out a story, which they are.



So we've all finished discussing the Cayman then?



FY and your Cayman!!!!!!
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Re: Porsche Cayman S 2013 Driven

Post by Il Duce @ Tue Aug 13, 2013 2:26 pm

Disastrous wrote:
Il Duce wrote:
Disastrous wrote:Quite shitly filmed though.

IMO, 2-3 minutes is a promo video but near enough 20 is getting into the realms of a proper programme.

I think as a format, 20 minute car videos by respected journos is a pretty good idea, but unfortunately, most of them (journos) are quite shite at speaking to camera and just sound like they're reading out a story, which they are.



So we've all finished discussing the Cayman then?



FY and your Cayman!!!!!!


FY face and your shit dingy.
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Re: Porsche Cayman S 2013 Driven

Post by Disastrous @ Tue Aug 13, 2013 2:28 pm

Il Duce wrote:
Disastrous wrote:
Il Duce wrote:
Disastrous wrote:Quite shitly filmed though.

IMO, 2-3 minutes is a promo video but near enough 20 is getting into the realms of a proper programme.

I think as a format, 20 minute car videos by respected journos is a pretty good idea, but unfortunately, most of them (journos) are quite shite at speaking to camera and just sound like they're reading out a story, which they are.



So we've all finished discussing the Cayman then?



FY and your Cayman!!!!!!


FY face and your shit dingy.


What the fcuk's a dingy, you spastic?

Jam your Cayman up your shitter!!!!!!!
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