Fantasy manifesto pledges

Do you have difficulty sustaining your election?

Fantasy manifesto pledges

Post by Barbarianna @ Fri May 05, 2017 9:27 am

Make some of your own.

This really isn't so mad any more. After all, Trump was a total child in saying he would build a huge ridiculous wall to keep baddies out, all the while grabbing all the pussy he got within 3 feet of, and got pissed on by Russky prossies, and he totally won.

So.
- Having the inside of Rod's van declared as international waters.
- No speeding fines for drivers who can prove their skillz on a DVLA racetrack.

That sort of thing.

My totally bland one one would be movable weekends!
From springtime onwards, the week becomes a dynamic issue. Every 7 days has 2 days off, fcuk the havoc it causes with work appointments. If there's a glorious day outside, that day is declared a weekend day at 5am and broadcats on all internets and radios and TVs. If no good days during the week, default to normal weekend days.

No carrying over of days- this would be too contentious an issue, perhaps raised at the next election after my inevitable win.
Barbarianna
 
Posts: 4383
Joined: Sun Jun 06, 2010 6:50 pm

Re: Fantasy manifesto pledges

Post by Careless Whisperer @ Fri May 05, 2017 9:30 am

Un-bank holidays. Everyone gets some extra days off apart from those who work in banks - lazy feckers.
User avatar
Careless Whisperer
 
Posts: 15208
Joined: Fri Feb 29, 2008 10:07 pm
Location: The Real World
Highscores: 5

Re: Fantasy manifesto pledges

Post by Il Duce @ Fri May 05, 2017 9:37 am

First Sunday of every month EVERYTHING in the service/retail industry is closed and nobody works.
Il Duce
Italian Person
Italian Person
 
Posts: 12768
Joined: Fri Feb 29, 2008 10:08 am
Location: Audi can fvck off

Re: Fantasy manifesto pledges

Post by Strawman @ Fri May 05, 2017 9:43 am

Nobody is homeless
Rupert Murdoch is hunted and killed for sport, all his empire is dismantled and assets sold off to benefit refugees.
User avatar
Strawman
 
Posts: 39673
Joined: Mon Oct 22, 2007 7:50 pm
Location: insignificant next to the power of the force

Re: Fantasy manifesto pledges

Post by Dirk @ Fri May 05, 2017 9:53 am

One of the western isles is set aside for a hunger games style event. Competitors are volunteers

Bacon to be recategorised as healthy food by the medical profession
User avatar
Dirk
 
Posts: 30459
Joined: Mon Oct 22, 2007 8:03 pm
Highscores: 5

Re: Fantasy manifesto pledges

Post by Greg66 @ Fri May 05, 2017 10:07 am

Three day weekends, made possible by adding a new day (to be called 66day) to the week.

Eight day weeks, 32 day months. 11 months in a year (no one likes February so it can fcuk right off).

Thirteen spare days in a year to be given to Christmas, New Year and Easter.
User avatar
Greg66
 
Posts: 3124
Joined: Tue Jun 02, 2015 11:03 pm

Re: Fantasy manifesto pledges

Post by span @ Fri May 05, 2017 10:25 am

Summer Christmas!!

I actually had this idea last night, but was only thinking for our house, not for everyone. I decided that this summer, we'll choose a weekend and put the aircon on full and shut the curtains and have Christmas Day. Roast something, do some pressies and watch some family films. I'm not sure if the aircon could cope with us having a fire as well but we'll do all the rest of it.

Haven't told Mr Span yet, sure he'll agree it's a super idea.
User avatar
span
 
Posts: 6996
Joined: Mon Jun 29, 2009 9:14 pm

Re: Fantasy manifesto pledges

Post by dirtyboy @ Fri May 05, 2017 10:30 am

Pensioners not allowed out of the house between the hours of 8 and 6 monday to friday.
User avatar
dirtyboy
 
Posts: 6652
Joined: Thu Feb 28, 2008 3:46 pm
Location: Hanging out of your mums arse

Re: Fantasy manifesto pledges

Post by Rod Rammage @ Fri May 05, 2017 10:34 am

My party promises to introduce Motorway Racing.

Cars will be stopped on the motorway until there are about a hundred and then they race. The top 10 winners receive free road tax, stereos and VHS players. The bottom 10 have their cars impounded and ground to dust.
User avatar
Rod Rammage
 
Posts: 26396
Joined: Fri Feb 29, 2008 10:05 am

Re: Fantasy manifesto pledges

Post by Rod Rammage @ Fri May 05, 2017 10:37 am

dirtyboy wrote:Pensioners not allowed out of the house between the hours of 8 and 6 monday to friday.


If you include mothers with prams you have my vote.
User avatar
Rod Rammage
 
Posts: 26396
Joined: Fri Feb 29, 2008 10:05 am

Re: Fantasy manifesto pledges

Post by Rod Rammage @ Fri May 05, 2017 10:37 am

KILL ALL DOGS.
User avatar
Rod Rammage
 
Posts: 26396
Joined: Fri Feb 29, 2008 10:05 am

Re: Fantasy manifesto pledges

Post by Greg66 @ Fri May 05, 2017 10:40 am

Rod Rammage wrote:KILL ALL DOGS.


You mean canines or ugly womens?

fcuk it. I don't care either way. I'm onboard. Where do I put my X?
User avatar
Greg66
 
Posts: 3124
Joined: Tue Jun 02, 2015 11:03 pm

Re: Fantasy manifesto pledges

Post by DI Burnside @ Fri May 05, 2017 10:51 am

Men only shopping days
User avatar
DI Burnside
 
Posts: 17511
Joined: Mon Oct 22, 2007 7:44 pm
Location: Beds
Highscores: 7

Re: Fantasy manifesto pledges

Post by S1K @ Fri May 05, 2017 11:01 am

Free punch days - Everyone gets a glass of fruity booze and a chance to thump Piers Morgan, Paul Dacre and a load of other cnuts.

Jail your neighbour - Win a raffle and choose which of your neighbours gets to spend a week in chokey.
User avatar
S1K
 
Posts: 6298
Joined: Fri Nov 06, 2015 7:10 pm

Re: Fantasy manifesto pledges

Post by Il Duce @ Fri May 05, 2017 11:02 am

All women's shops have to have a mens bar area, with tv and crisps.
Il Duce
Italian Person
Italian Person
 
Posts: 12768
Joined: Fri Feb 29, 2008 10:08 am
Location: Audi can fvck off

Re: Fantasy manifesto pledges

Post by Dirk @ Fri May 05, 2017 11:13 am

Caravans to be allowed on roads only between 11pm and 5am
User avatar
Dirk
 
Posts: 30459
Joined: Mon Oct 22, 2007 8:03 pm
Highscores: 5

Re: Fantasy manifesto pledges

Post by Rod Rammage @ Fri May 05, 2017 11:15 am

KILL ALL CYCLISTS
User avatar
Rod Rammage
 
Posts: 26396
Joined: Fri Feb 29, 2008 10:05 am

Re: Fantasy manifesto pledges

Post by Il Duce @ Fri May 05, 2017 11:21 am

Ugly and fat women HAVE to wear the full burka.
Il Duce
Italian Person
Italian Person
 
Posts: 12768
Joined: Fri Feb 29, 2008 10:08 am
Location: Audi can fvck off

Re: Fantasy manifesto pledges

Post by Disastrous @ Fri May 05, 2017 11:23 am

MANDATORY DOGS!
User avatar
Disastrous
Monkey Licker!
 
Posts: 39240
Joined: Thu Feb 28, 2008 3:58 pm

Re: Fantasy manifesto pledges

Post by Rod Rammage @ Fri May 05, 2017 11:24 am

No low-down drawers, only waist height. Bending has become rather a chore as I enter my declining years.
User avatar
Rod Rammage
 
Posts: 26396
Joined: Fri Feb 29, 2008 10:05 am

Re: Fantasy manifesto pledges

Post by DI Burnside @ Fri May 05, 2017 11:30 am

Blow job Wednesdays
User avatar
DI Burnside
 
Posts: 17511
Joined: Mon Oct 22, 2007 7:44 pm
Location: Beds
Highscores: 7

Re: Fantasy manifesto pledges

Post by S1K @ Fri May 05, 2017 11:33 am

Rod Rammage wrote:No low-down drawers, only waist height. Bending has become rather a chore as I enter my declining years.

On my first two readings of that sentence I thought you were on about this sort of thing -

Image

which definitely ought to be banned.
User avatar
S1K
 
Posts: 6298
Joined: Fri Nov 06, 2015 7:10 pm

Re: Fantasy manifesto pledges

Post by S1K @ Fri May 05, 2017 11:34 am

DI Burnside wrote:Blow job Wednesdays

That's a very generous offer Dibs...
User avatar
S1K
 
Posts: 6298
Joined: Fri Nov 06, 2015 7:10 pm

Re: Fantasy manifesto pledges

Post by Rod Rammage @ Fri May 05, 2017 11:45 am

Disastrous wrote:MANDATORY DOGS!


Your policies are incapable of implementation.

The Dis Party has zero credibility on account of your outlandish manifesto and face.
User avatar
Rod Rammage
 
Posts: 26396
Joined: Fri Feb 29, 2008 10:05 am

Re: Fantasy manifesto pledges

Post by Disastrous @ Fri May 05, 2017 11:47 am

Rod Rammage wrote:
Disastrous wrote:MANDATORY DOGS!


Your policies are incapable of implementation.

The Dis Party has zero credibility on account of your outlandish manifesto and face.



I'm counting on span's vote. And all the other nice ones.
User avatar
Disastrous
Monkey Licker!
 
Posts: 39240
Joined: Thu Feb 28, 2008 3:58 pm

Re: Fantasy manifesto pledges

Post by Rod Rammage @ Fri May 05, 2017 11:49 am

Henceforth tampons should be used in place of crampons and vice versa.
User avatar
Rod Rammage
 
Posts: 26396
Joined: Fri Feb 29, 2008 10:05 am

Re: Fantasy manifesto pledges

Post by Rod Rammage @ Fri May 05, 2017 11:51 am

All vowels which are not O should be replaced with O.

Thon wo woold tolk loko thos!
User avatar
Rod Rammage
 
Posts: 26396
Joined: Fri Feb 29, 2008 10:05 am

Re: Fantasy manifesto pledges

Post by GingerNinja @ Fri May 05, 2017 11:56 am

The Purge
User avatar
GingerNinja
 
Posts: 4713
Joined: Thu Feb 28, 2008 5:02 pm
Location: London

Re: Fantasy manifesto pledges

Post by ttwiggy @ Fri May 05, 2017 11:59 am

Property musical chairs.

Every 12 months loud music will be played over a giant PA system/from helicopters and then everyone has to run out of their house carrying as much of their stuff as possible. When the music stops you run into any house you fancy and then live there for the next year.
Last edited by ttwiggy on Fri May 05, 2017 11:59 am, edited 1 time in total.
ttwiggy
 
Posts: 1804
Joined: Tue Aug 11, 2015 3:54 pm

Re: Fantasy manifesto pledges

Post by Turntable @ Fri May 05, 2017 12:11 pm

ttwiggy wrote:Property musical chairs.

Every 12 months loud music will be played over a giant PA system/from helicopters and then everyone has to run out of their house carrying as much of their stuff as possible. When the music stops you run into any house you fancy and then live there for the next year.


:biglaugh: Good one
User avatar
Turntable
 
Posts: 31551
Joined: Mon Oct 22, 2007 7:47 pm
Highscores: 7

Next

Return to Political Corner

Who is online

Users browsing this forum: No registered users and 1 guest

yt
  Enable youtube titles