Do You Have A Cleaner/Maid/Staff?

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Do You Have A Cleaner/Maid/Staff?

Post by Careless Whisperer @ Thu Oct 26, 2017 4:27 pm

I think I'm looking to hire a cleaner. Never done it before, so what should I look out for?

I don't really fancy having my stuff nicked, house used as a brothel, or a lazy feckwit eating all my biscuits.

Advice, recommendations, tales of experiences all greatly appreciated. :)
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Re: Do You Have A Cleaner/Maid/Staff?

Post by Clown Ice Skater #4 @ Thu Oct 26, 2017 4:45 pm

We have a cleaner. She's been with us for about eight years. She does three hours every fortnight.

Change sheets
Wash floors
Clean bathroom/kitchen
Hoover all rooms
Dust

Three bed house and we pay £45 per visit. Never had any problems and we text each other if she can't make it (rare) or we don't need her.
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Re: Do You Have A Cleaner/Maid/Staff?

Post by dirtyboy @ Thu Oct 26, 2017 4:48 pm

Used to have one, she came Wednesdays, ironed and hoovered about etc, gave us 1.5 hours.

Now wife works at home, not needed. Was nice to have, she ironed my socks...wife doesn't.
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Re: Do You Have A Cleaner/Maid/Staff?

Post by Careless Whisperer @ Thu Oct 26, 2017 5:21 pm

Are you at home when they come round?
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Re: Do You Have A Cleaner/Maid/Staff?

Post by Dirk @ Thu Oct 26, 2017 5:50 pm

Who the fcuk wants ironed socks?

No need to be at home (apart from to show them around and what you want before you hire them obviously)
Be specific about what you want
Try and find one that a friend can recommend, trouble is they are usually busy
Don't be afraid to change until you find one you like, but if you keep thinking they don't do enough for the time/money, it may be you
Be nice (like showing them where the tea & coffee are and making it clear they can help themselves
Be flexible on days

Hope you don't get Tokes old one
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Re: Do You Have A Cleaner/Maid/Staff?

Post by S1K @ Thu Oct 26, 2017 6:21 pm

I haven't got a cleaner. We had one for a while when I was a kid and she couldn't read. She'd squint at the back of the various bottles of cleaning stuff under the sink and claim to have forgotten her glasses every single week.
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Re: Do You Have A Cleaner/Maid/Staff?

Post by Pigeon @ Thu Oct 26, 2017 8:04 pm

We had one when I was a kid as well. One day she brought her young lad with her and he did a shit. In the toilet. At least, theoretically. But about half of it stuck to his arse and instead of wiping his arse on the bog paper he used my face flannel and then folded it over to hide it.
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Re: Do You Have A Cleaner/Maid/Staff?

Post by ttwiggy @ Thu Oct 26, 2017 8:13 pm

It took her weeks to train him to do that.
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Re: Do You Have A Cleaner/Maid/Staff?

Post by Clown Ice Skater #4 @ Thu Oct 26, 2017 9:25 pm

We’re at work when ours comes round. She has a key.
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Re: Do You Have A Cleaner/Maid/Staff?

Post by Careless Whisperer @ Thu Oct 26, 2017 10:45 pm

spast1kunt wrote:I haven't got a cleaner. We had one for a while when I was a kid and she couldn't read. She'd squint at the back of the various bottles of cleaning stuff under the sink and claim to have forgotten her glasses every single week.

Thats a point. Do they use our cleaning stuff or bring their own?
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Re: Do You Have A Cleaner/Maid/Staff?

Post by HappyGoLucky @ Fri Oct 27, 2017 3:45 am

Careless Whisperer wrote:
spast1kunt wrote:I haven't got a cleaner. We had one for a while when I was a kid and she couldn't read. She'd squint at the back of the various bottles of cleaning stuff under the sink and claim to have forgotten her glasses every single week.

Thats a point. Do they use our cleaning stuff or bring their own?


They use yours, but the one I had ended up getting me to swap to brands she preferred; I didn't care she was the one using them. She used to do 4 hrs on a Monday.

Change sheets
Wash floors
Clean bathroom/kitchen
Dust
Ironing

Three bed apartment & I paid the equivalent of £42 per visit. Never had any problems and she would text me if was going to be late or if she couldn't make it (rare) or I didn't don't need her because MrsHGL was over.

It was also handy that I could book the aircon services guys to call in while she was there to supervise, make sure they actually did a service and didn't make a mess in the process.

We kept her on for the first few months after MrsHGL took up permanent residence and we moved into a house, but eventually let her go as MrsHGL would do the cleaning before she got there so it was tidy which kind of undermined the whole point.
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Re: Do You Have A Cleaner/Maid/Staff?

Post by ttwiggy @ Fri Oct 27, 2017 10:18 am

Need more limon plidge
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Re: Do You Have A Cleaner/Maid/Staff?

Post by CJ+ @ Fri Oct 27, 2017 10:42 am

ttwiggy wrote:Need more limon plidge

Sith Ifrican cleaner?
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Re: Do You Have A Cleaner/Maid/Staff?

Post by ttwiggy @ Fri Oct 27, 2017 10:43 am

CJ+ wrote:
ttwiggy wrote:Need more limon plidge

Sith Ifrican cleaner?


It was meant to be the Mexican maid from Family Guy.
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Re: Do You Have A Cleaner/Maid/Staff?

Post by Firkin @ Fri Oct 27, 2017 2:04 pm

I need a tidy-upper. Once the house is tidy it takes less than an hour to clean it.

fcuking takes hours/days/weeks to find the house though under the dross of a teenage girl's stuff :(

Still, she plans to move out to her own place soon as she can sort it so I guess I will miss her and her dross
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Re: Do You Have A Cleaner/Maid/Staff?

Post by Careless Whisperer @ Fri Oct 27, 2017 2:20 pm

Firkin wrote:I need a tidy-upper. Once the house is tidy it takes less than an hour to clean it.

fcuking takes hours/days/weeks to find the house though under the dross of a teenage girl's stuff :(

Still, she plans to move out to her own place soon as she can sort it so I guess I will miss her and her dross

But on the plus side you could get more cats...
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Re: Do You Have A Cleaner/Maid/Staff?

Post by span @ Fri Oct 27, 2017 4:53 pm

We have a cleaner - 3 hours a week. No sheets or ironing, but after doing the floors (sweeping and mopping), kitchen, bathrooms, surfaces, she'll sometimes do a bit of whatever else needs doing - like doing the windows on one floor, or cleaning and tidying the messy pots and pans drawer, or something.

We always try and go by recommendation. Our cleaner now is great, really lovely and we have a lovely chat every week, and then I go and work in the basement office while she's here.

My problems with previous ones were just that they were too subservient. We bumped into one last weekend and our kids were playing, and she was still calling us Sir and Madam!! Super awks.

The worst was the one I think I moaned about, who made me feel terrible when she told us she cleans the local church and was doing our house for extra money to give to the church. Like a total bitch. She didn't last. Although ALSO she was crap at cleaning so I was like btw God will be mad at you if you do his windows all streaky like that.
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Re: Do You Have A Cleaner/Maid/Staff?

Post by Rod Rammage @ Fri Oct 27, 2017 5:00 pm

span wrote:
The worst was the one I think I moaned about, who made me feel terrible when she told us she cleans the local church and was doing our house for extra money to give to the church. Like a total bitch. She didn't last. Although ALSO she was crap at cleaning so I was like btw God will be mad at you if you do his windows all streaky like that.


Laugh.

I hope you sent an unsolicited bad reference to the church (and God). Five pages long with tables, footnotes and a photographic schedule.
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Re: Do You Have A Cleaner/Maid/Staff?

Post by Firkin @ Fri Oct 27, 2017 5:41 pm

Careless Whisperer wrote:
Firkin wrote:I need a tidy-upper. Once the house is tidy it takes less than an hour to clean it.

fcuking takes hours/days/weeks to find the house though under the dross of a teenage girl's stuff :(

Still, she plans to move out to her own place soon as she can sort it so I guess I will miss her and her dross

But on the plus side you could get more cats...



:spaz: Even I have reached my limit. Although some of the cats will be leaving with Miss Firkin if she manages to get her own place
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Re: Do You Have A Cleaner/Maid/Staff?

Post by Käsemeister @ Fri Oct 27, 2017 5:48 pm

WTF? How old is she now?!
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Re: Do You Have A Cleaner/Maid/Staff?

Post by Clown Ice Skater #4 @ Fri Oct 27, 2017 7:48 pm

Those of you with cleaners, do you tidy up before the cleaner arrives? I don't mean do you clean things, I mean picking up clothes, putting away the stuff that accumulates on surfaces etc? I ask because we do and people seem to think we are mental. The cleaner's job is to clean, not hang my clothes up or tidy our paperwork into a pile, right?

Also, do you give them a Christmas bonus?
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Re: Do You Have A Cleaner/Maid/Staff?

Post by Firkin @ Fri Oct 27, 2017 10:42 pm

Käsemeister wrote:WTF? How old is she now?!


Almost 18. Far too young in my eyes but she hates living at home as she hates master firkin so much as well as having a long, long list of other reasons. I can't reason with her so sometimes you just got to let them do as they please. She's welcome back whenever if it doesn't work out supporting herself so time will tell if she can find somewhere and if she copes better on her own.

It's not what I want but I can't get her to change her mind :|
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Re: Do You Have A Cleaner/Maid/Staff?

Post by HappyGoLucky @ Sat Oct 28, 2017 2:53 am

Clown Ice Skater #4 wrote:Those of you with cleaners, do you tidy up before the cleaner arrives? I don't mean do you clean things, I mean picking up clothes, putting away the stuff that accumulates on surfaces etc? I ask because we do and people seem to think we are mental. The cleaner's job is to clean, not hang my clothes up or tidy our paperwork into a pile, right?

Also, do you give them a Christmas bonus?

Yes, and Yes. Except now we don't have one it's no, and no because it would be downright PH to give my wife a Christmas bonus.
Last edited by HappyGoLucky on Sat Oct 28, 2017 2:54 am, edited 1 time in total.
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Re: Do You Have A Cleaner/Maid/Staff?

Post by span @ Sat Oct 28, 2017 8:39 am

HappyGoLucky wrote:
Clown Ice Skater #4 wrote:Those of you with cleaners, do you tidy up before the cleaner arrives? I don't mean do you clean things, I mean picking up clothes, putting away the stuff that accumulates on surfaces etc? I ask because we do and people seem to think we are mental. The cleaner's job is to clean, not hang my clothes up or tidy our paperwork into a pile, right?

Also, do you give them a Christmas bonus?

Yes, and Yes. Except now we don't have one it's no, and no because it would be downright PH to give my wife a Christmas bonus.

Also yes and yes.

Like you, Clown, I don't feel it's a cleaner's job to clear up your clutter, and it makes more sense to do that myself because otherwise I won't know where anything is. It also prompts us to have a good tidy up once a week, and then she comes in and gets everything nice and clean.
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