Crap 'advancements' in cars

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Crap 'advancements' in cars

Post by Turntable @ Mon Apr 16, 2018 11:40 am

Every time I get a new car it seems there are new gimmicks in a desperate race to 'improve' cars.
Some of them are good and become a standard feature in all cars.
Others appear and manufacturers persist with despite them being fcuking shit.

For example - automatic full beam. I am on my third car that has this, all different manufacturers, and all completely useless. Yes, they kind of work a bit but not even close to perfectly and unless they work perfectly then they are completely useless. I hate it. A friend was boasting about the further advancement to this on his new m3 which in-theory kept the full beam on but blotted out the bit that would blind oncoming cars. All great in theory but just doesn't work.

Automatic handbrakes: What a pile of shit these are. What is the point of them? You never know whether you need to push the button or pull it. Every time you stop you sit there fiddling trying to work out if the fact that it is flashing means that you are turning it off when you need it on, or whatever.
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Re: Crap 'advancements' in cars

Post by S1K @ Mon Apr 16, 2018 11:45 am

Automatic rain-sensing windscreen wipers are shit too. They're always either too fast or too slow. Just give me an adjustable speed intermittent switch and I'm happy with that.
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Re: Crap 'advancements' in cars

Post by Turntable @ Mon Apr 16, 2018 11:49 am

S1K wrote:Automatic rain-sensing windscreen wipers are shit too. They're always either too fast or too slow. Just give me an adjustable speed intermittent switch and I'm happy with that.



I would have put this at the top of the list too but they seem to have improved no end of late. Mine almost actually works.
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Re: Crap 'advancements' in cars

Post by thekungfury @ Mon Apr 16, 2018 11:50 am

S1K wrote:Automatic rain-sensing windscreen wipers are shit too. They're always either too fast or too slow. Just give me an adjustable speed intermittent switch and I'm happy with that.

I disagree. I hired a car last week which only had intermittent and it was like back to the early 90's with wind-up windows. Disgusting.

Turntable wrote:Automatic handbrakes: What a pile of shit these are. What is the point of them?

On your Audi I think it cuts in automatically when you brake to a full stop. That way you can take your foot off the brake and stop blinding the driver behind.
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Re: Crap 'advancements' in cars

Post by Turntable @ Mon Apr 16, 2018 11:50 am

And on the other end of the spectrum, why are heads-up-displays not standard on all cars? They aren't particularly expensive yet no car seems to be specced with them. Once you've used on of those for a while you realise quite how much time you spend staring at your speedo
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Re: Crap 'advancements' in cars

Post by Turntable @ Mon Apr 16, 2018 11:52 am

thekungfury wrote:On your Audi I think it cuts in automatically when you brake to a full stop. That way you can take your foot off the brake and stop blinding the driver behind.


It seems to do it sometimes then not others. But anyway I meant to say electronic handbrakes not automatic ones. I'm talking like my dad/mum that anything not wind-up is 'automatic'
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Re: Crap 'advancements' in cars

Post by minimoog @ Mon Apr 16, 2018 12:27 pm

S1K wrote:Automatic rain-sensing windscreen wipers are shit too. They're always either too fast or too slow. Just give me an adjustable speed intermittent switch and I'm happy with that.


I used to think this (hello Pug 306 in particular) but those on the Lexus are pretty much flawless and I just let them get on with it.
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Re: Crap 'advancements' in cars

Post by Baby Huey @ Mon Apr 16, 2018 12:29 pm

Pointless "vaguely" self-driving cars like Tesla. Why? Can you have a quick kip on the way to work? No. Can you go through your Emails? No.

Pothole finding tech would be good.
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Re: Crap 'advancements' in cars

Post by Dirk @ Mon Apr 16, 2018 12:45 pm

thekungfury wrote: That way you can take your foot off the brake and stop blinding the driver behind.

This seems to be a common PH theme that I never got

WHo the hell has ever been blinding by a brakelight. I cannot think of a single time I have ever been annoyed by someone sitting on their brakes at a junction
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Re: Crap 'advancements' in cars

Post by S1K @ Mon Apr 16, 2018 12:47 pm

Dirk wrote:WHo the hell has ever been blinding by a brakelight.

Me.

I hate it. I have found myself shielding my eyes with my hand at night sitting behind newer cars with bright LED lights.
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Re: Crap 'advancements' in cars

Post by Deuteronomy @ Mon Apr 16, 2018 1:10 pm

S1K wrote:
Dirk wrote:WHo the hell has ever been blinding by a brakelight.

Me.

I hate it. I have found myself shielding my eyes with my hand at night sitting behind newer cars with bright LED lights.


Agreed - some of the news ones are like having laser eye surgery.
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Re: Crap 'advancements' in cars

Post by Turntable @ Mon Apr 16, 2018 1:38 pm

Oh, and by far the worst advancement I have ever encountered: Active steering.
My car has active steering which purports to adapt the stiffness/sensitivity of the steering according to the driving conditions/the way you are driving.
Sounds okay.
What it actually does is inexplicably change the steering from quite firm to featherlight instantly for no actual reason whatsoever. There is no graduation just seemingly and on/off thing.
As a result you find yourself turning into a corner and suddenly putting far too big a steering input in because the steering has suddenly gone all light mid corner. It is absolutely inexplicable and feels like you've had a blow-out mid corner.
Hate it and see no reason for it at all and it genuinely feels dangerous sometimes.
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Re: Crap 'advancements' in cars

Post by S1K @ Mon Apr 16, 2018 2:28 pm

Is there anything which can be done to cure that TT?

I wonder if someone out there remaps active steering systems, like they do engines and gearboxes.
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Re: Crap 'advancements' in cars

Post by Greg66 @ Mon Apr 16, 2018 3:22 pm

Deuteronomy wrote:
S1K wrote:
Dirk wrote:WHo the hell has ever been blinding by a brakelight.

Me.

I hate it. I have found myself shielding my eyes with my hand at night sitting behind newer cars with bright LED lights.


Agreed - some of the news ones are like having laser eye surgery.


My God. You two girlie men have girlie eyes. You should pull your bonnets down over your girlie faces.

A real crap advancement: soft close doors. Who on earth thought this would be a useful thing?
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Re: Crap 'advancements' in cars

Post by Il Duce @ Mon Apr 16, 2018 3:55 pm

Turntable wrote:Oh, and by far the worst advancement I have ever encountered: Active steering.
My car has active steering which purports to adapt the stiffness/sensitivity of the steering according to the driving conditions/the way you are driving.
Sounds okay.
What it actually does is inexplicably change the steering from quite firm to featherlight instantly for no actual reason whatsoever. There is no graduation just seemingly and on/off thing.
As a result you find yourself turning into a corner and suddenly putting far too big a steering input in because the steering has suddenly gone all light mid corner. It is absolutely inexplicable and feels like you've had a blow-out mid corner.
Hate it and see no reason for it at all and it genuinely feels dangerous sometimes.


What car is it? It doesn't sound right.



Unless it's a fvckingaudi of course.
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Re: Crap 'advancements' in cars

Post by Freddie @ Mon Apr 16, 2018 4:10 pm

Il Duce wrote:
Turntable wrote:Oh, and by far the worst advancement I have ever encountered: Active steering.
My car has active steering which purports to adapt the stiffness/sensitivity of the steering according to the driving conditions/the way you are driving.
Sounds okay.
What it actually does is inexplicably change the steering from quite firm to featherlight instantly for no actual reason whatsoever. There is no graduation just seemingly and on/off thing.
As a result you find yourself turning into a corner and suddenly putting far too big a steering input in because the steering has suddenly gone all light mid corner. It is absolutely inexplicable and feels like you've had a blow-out mid corner.
Hate it and see no reason for it at all and it genuinely feels dangerous sometimes.


What car is it? It doesn't sound right.

Unless it's a fvckingaudi of course.


I suspect it's TT's new RS6.
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Re: Crap 'advancements' in cars

Post by Aesgarth @ Mon Apr 16, 2018 4:42 pm

S1K wrote:Is there anything which can be done to cure that TT?

I wonder if someone out there remaps active steering systems, like they do engines and gearboxes.

It can be turned off, but it may require a dealer to do so. and it may mean it defaults to the wrong mode.
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Re: Crap 'advancements' in cars

Post by minimoog @ Mon Apr 16, 2018 4:55 pm

Greg66 wrote:A real crap advancement: soft close doors. Who on earth thought this would be a useful thing?


:raises hand:

Obviously I have no need for them myself, having a powerful and compelling slam action, but they have proven surprisingly useful when conveying the weaker sex who tend to waft ineffectually at them as they struggle with the shopping bags.
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Re: Crap 'advancements' in cars

Post by Il Duce @ Mon Apr 16, 2018 5:38 pm

Freddie wrote:
Il Duce wrote:
Turntable wrote:Oh, and by far the worst advancement I have ever encountered: Active steering.
My car has active steering which purports to adapt the stiffness/sensitivity of the steering according to the driving conditions/the way you are driving.
Sounds okay.
What it actually does is inexplicably change the steering from quite firm to featherlight instantly for no actual reason whatsoever. There is no graduation just seemingly and on/off thing.
As a result you find yourself turning into a corner and suddenly putting far too big a steering input in because the steering has suddenly gone all light mid corner. It is absolutely inexplicable and feels like you've had a blow-out mid corner.
Hate it and see no reason for it at all and it genuinely feels dangerous sometimes.


What car is it? It doesn't sound right.

Unless it's a fvckingaudi of course.


I suspect it's TT's new RS6.


That would explain it.

I think the conversation with the dealership will go like this:

The steering is wonky on my car.
Have you been turning the wheel?
Well yes but you have to to go around corners.
Ok but you've probably turned the wheel incorrectly and worn it out so that's wear and tear.
But I haven't turned it incorrectly.
We can't be sure of that sir can we? Wear and tear. Not covered by the extensive Audi warranty I'm afraid.
But how was I turning it incorrectly?
You might have been jiggling it or wiggling it and that wears it out so it's wear and tear.
fcuk off?
No really sir we've seen it before. Quite a few people are wiggling and jiggling and they've worn out the steering.
Quite a few? So it's common then?
Not many but a few and not none.. but I have seen it before and it's wear and tear. Trust me. Yes. You were wiggling or jiggling or even maybe waggling and you can't expect ANY car to survive that treatment.

I'm going to tear your arse out and wear it on my head as a hat you cnut!
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Re: Crap 'advancements' in cars

Post by thekungfury @ Mon Apr 16, 2018 6:14 pm

Thousands of drivers have had Audis and Porsches without the drama you seem to attract. Maybe it's not the car?
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Re: Crap 'advancements' in cars

Post by deev @ Mon Apr 16, 2018 7:17 pm

Stupid chrome things on the bumper that the exhaust pipe sits behind and they expect you to think the stupid chrome thing is the exhaust. Merc to particularly horrid ones.
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Re: Crap 'advancements' in cars

Post by Deuteronomy @ Tue Apr 17, 2018 8:48 am

deev wrote:Stupid chrome things on the bumper that the exhaust pipe sits behind and they expect you to think the stupid chrome thing is the exhaust. Merc to particularly horrid ones.


Yes, I hate this too - massive angular vents with a tiny pee-shooter exhaust just visible.
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Re: Crap 'advancements' in cars

Post by Il Duce @ Tue Apr 17, 2018 9:42 am

thekungfury wrote:Thousands of drivers have had Audis and Porsches without the drama you seem to attract. Maybe it's not the car?


If I was the only person it happened to, I'd agree with you.
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Re: Crap 'advancements' in cars

Post by Turntable @ Tue Apr 17, 2018 9:48 am

Also, electric boot opening.
They are a nice gimmick and they have some key advantages but they are universally faaaar too slow. Press a button. Stand there for 5 seconds waiting for a boot to open. fcuk off. Just open you fcuker.


Also. ALSO. Reversing cameras. One spec of rain renders them completely useless. Just a vague blurred shape of the world outside. Utterly pointless.
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Re: Crap 'advancements' in cars

Post by moleamol @ Tue Apr 17, 2018 11:09 am

Deuteronomy wrote:
S1K wrote:
Dirk wrote:WHo the hell has ever been blinding by a brakelight.

Me.

I hate it. I have found myself shielding my eyes with my hand at night sitting behind newer cars with bright LED lights.


Agreed - some of the news ones are like having laser eye surgery.

Also agreed. It's not too bad in the Landy because I can pull up enough that usually can't see them. In the Megane it's awful.
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Re: Crap 'advancements' in cars

Post by Turntable @ Tue Apr 17, 2018 11:35 am

Deuteronomy wrote:
deev wrote:Stupid chrome things on the bumper that the exhaust pipe sits behind and they expect you to think the stupid chrome thing is the exhaust. Merc to particularly horrid ones.


Yes, I hate this too - massive angular vents with a tiny pee-shooter exhaust just visible.



Disagree. Purely aesthetic which is largely what differentiates a lot of cars.
I would infinitely prefer a car with attractive chrome shapes there than tiny little crap pipes sticking out irrelevantly.
I suppose the difference is that you see it as trying to big-up the exhausts where I see it as trying to disguise them and make them look less shit.
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Re: Crap 'advancements' in cars

Post by deev @ Tue Apr 17, 2018 12:52 pm

Just hide them totally then. The chrome things are the same as those absurd people who inject themselves with synthol to pretend they have muscles. Embarrassing.
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Re: Crap 'advancements' in cars

Post by thekungfury @ Tue Apr 17, 2018 1:08 pm

I don’t mind shaped exhaust covers. Far better than a little pipe poking out.

wrt hiding them apparently people aren’t ready for it yet. We’re used to how cars “should” look and it’s why Tesla has a front grille and these little irrelevant reflectors on the bottom rear. Focus groups overwhelmingly preferred them.
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Re: Crap 'advancements' in cars

Post by Il Duce @ Tue Apr 17, 2018 1:25 pm

Reflectors are a legal requirement.
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Re: Crap 'advancements' in cars

Post by thekungfury @ Tue Apr 17, 2018 1:29 pm

Il Duce wrote:Reflectors are a legal requirement.

Their location isn’t.
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