Anyone out there?

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Anyone out there?

Post by Fallen Angel @ Tue Sep 09, 2008 1:51 pm

I can't find my post previously stating the lack of interest in a job advertised however, I have now gone out to ad again...

Job is based in Yeovil.
Salary circa 24-26K starting - rising to ££31K
27 days leave plus BH
37½ hrs per week.

If anyone knows anyone in the area... can you PM me and I shall send the JD through.

I know it would be discriminatory of me to say that only guys with defined deltoids need apply so I won't :hehe:

:fallenangel:
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Re: Anyone out there?

Post by Kermit @ Tue Sep 09, 2008 1:54 pm

Might help to describe the job?
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Re: Anyone out there?

Post by OEJ @ Tue Sep 09, 2008 1:55 pm

Male escort?

:biglaugh:
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Re: Anyone out there?

Post by Gizmo @ Tue Sep 09, 2008 1:59 pm

Picking lobsters out of FA's arse :hehe:
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Re: Anyone out there?

Post by Kermit @ Tue Sep 09, 2008 2:01 pm

Gizmo wrote:Picking lobsters out of FA's arse :hehe:


Image
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Re: Anyone out there?

Post by Fallen Angel @ Tue Sep 09, 2008 2:05 pm

OK... will do but am just going to a meeting...

Hang on, roughly:

To support the implementation of the clinical audit strategy across the Trust and to develop systems and processes to ensure that services are clinically effective and comply with agreed national or local guidance or standards.

The post holder will be a key member of the Patient Safety Team, assisting healthcare professionals at the Trust to undertake effective clinical audit and to facilitate the Trust’s programme of Clinical Audit Training agenda.

The post holder will have responsibility for a portfolio of Clinical Audit projects working collaboratively with all healthcare professionals specifically those independent contractors and primary care commissioned services and maintaining information systems making adjustments if targets or deadlines are not met.

To be responsible for managing and monitoring progress for ongoing clinical audit projects, reporting lapses to the Quality Improvement Manager (Clinical Audit).

To sit as a full time member of the Clinical Effectiveness Group whose aim is to develop, support and monitor programmes of clinical audit and effectiveness throughout the Trust.

Ooh actually, it is not as boring as it sounds... as the person will be working with me.. so lots of meetings in pubs etc :D

:fallenangel:

ETA: no lobsters need apply :hehe:
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Re: Anyone out there?

Post by OEJ @ Tue Sep 09, 2008 2:06 pm

Nope. It's Yeovil, not Malibu

:hehe:
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Re: Anyone out there?

Post by parakitaMol @ Tue Sep 09, 2008 2:11 pm

If we get a classified section at some point, maybe we can have a job section in there?
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Re: Anyone out there?

Post by loach @ Tue Sep 09, 2008 2:20 pm

Fallen Angel wrote:whose aim is to develop, support and monitor programmes of clinical audit and effectiveness throughout the Trust.

Ooh actually, it is not as boring as it sounds... as the person will be working with me.. so lots of meetings in pubs etc :D





Hopefully you're a lap-dancer or a stand up comedienne or a fire juggler or something then, because that job description sounds like a long-term visa to sleepytown. You used the word audit a lot, which didn't help. You should have said something like "Hi. I'm Charlie. You'll be Bosley to a gaggle of nurse angels and you have to give them missions, monitor their progress and report back to me. I have big tits. You need a good physique, stamina and a clipboard. Call 555 34567"
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Re: Anyone out there?

Post by Kermit @ Tue Sep 09, 2008 2:26 pm

Loach makes a very fair point! 16 out of 162 words are either "clinical" or "audit". This might, by some, be perceived as a tiny wee bit OTT?
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Re: Anyone out there?

Post by Gizmo @ Tue Sep 09, 2008 2:27 pm

loach wrote:
Fallen Angel wrote:whose aim is to develop, support and monitor programmes of clinical audit and effectiveness throughout the Trust.

Ooh actually, it is not as boring as it sounds... as the person will be working with me.. so lots of meetings in pubs etc :D





Hopefully you're a lap-dancer or a stand up comedienne or a fire juggler or something then, because that job description sounds like a long-term visa to sleepytown. You used the word audit a lot, which didn't help. You should have said something like "Hi. I'm Charlie. You'll be Bosley to a gaggle of nurse angels and you have to give them missions, monitor their progress and report back to me. I have big tits. You need a good physique, stamina and a clipboard. Call 555 34567"

Can you check that? I'm just getting "The number has not been recognised."
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Re: Anyone out there?

Post by OEJ @ Tue Sep 09, 2008 2:34 pm

Gizmo wrote:Can you check that? I'm just getting "The number has not been recognised."



You're lucky - I can't even get through :irked:
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Re: Anyone out there?

Post by Fallen Angel @ Tue Sep 09, 2008 2:37 pm

Kermit wrote:Loach makes a very fair point! 16 out of 162 words are either "clinical" or "audit". This might, by some, be perceived as a tiny wee bit OTT?


You haven't seen the rest...

Probably because the role is Clinical Audit Facilitator :rolleyes:

Oh and my lapdancing is in my spare time... which I do actually teach (as a form of exercise I might add) :blush:

:fallenangel:
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Re: Anyone out there?

Post by Cloggy @ Tue Sep 09, 2008 2:39 pm

Fallen Angel wrote:
Kermit wrote:Loach makes a very fair point! 16 out of 162 words are either "clinical" or "audit". This might, by some, be perceived as a tiny wee bit OTT?


You haven't seen the rest...

Probably because the role is Clinical Audit Facilitator :rolleyes:

Oh and my lapdancing is in my spare team... which I do actually teach (as a form of exercise I might add) :blush:

:fallenangel:

:yikes: You got a whole spare team.
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Re: Anyone out there?

Post by Fallen Angel @ Tue Sep 09, 2008 2:40 pm

Cloggy wrote:
Fallen Angel wrote:
Kermit wrote:Loach makes a very fair point! 16 out of 162 words are either "clinical" or "audit". This might, by some, be perceived as a tiny wee bit OTT?


You haven't seen the rest...

Probably because the role is Clinical Audit Facilitator :rolleyes:

Oh and my lapdancing is in my spare team... which I do actually teach (as a form of exercise I might add) :blush:

:fallenangel:

:yikes: You got a whole spare team.


Got to be better than a tyre :rolleyes: :hehe:

:fallenangel:
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Re: Anyone out there?

Post by 900T-R @ Tue Sep 09, 2008 2:45 pm

Fallen Angel wrote:
I know it would be discriminatory of me to say that only guys with defined deltoids need apply so I won't :hehe:



What in heavens are 'deltoids'?
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Re: Anyone out there?

Post by loach @ Tue Sep 09, 2008 2:49 pm

Fallen Angel wrote:
You haven't seen the rest...

Probably because the role is Clinical Audit Facilitator :rolleyes:

Oh and my lapdancing is in my spare time... which I do actually teach (as a form of exercise I might add) :blush:


Never mind blushing. You're teaching it, so how embarrassed can you be? Now we've established you're not embarrassed and can lapdance like the devil herself, go through your job description, and every third time you've used the word audit, substitute the word lapdance. Every third time you've written the word clinical, substitute the words private lapdance, and instead of facilitator, use the term topless private lapdance with grinding. If you don't get at least 15,000 applicants to that, get back on here and we'll have another go.
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Re: Anyone out there?

Post by Pigeon @ Tue Sep 09, 2008 3:30 pm

900T-R wrote:
Fallen Angel wrote:
I know it would be discriminatory of me to say that only guys with defined deltoids need apply so I won't :hehe:



What in heavens are 'deltoids'?


Nearly but not quite eighteen-cylinder three-crankshaft thirty-six-piston two-stroke supercharged diesel engines.
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Re: Anyone out there?

Post by Hooli @ Fri Nov 14, 2008 10:38 pm

900T-R wrote:
Fallen Angel wrote:
I know it would be discriminatory of me to say that only guys with defined deltoids need apply so I won't :hehe:



What in heavens are 'deltoids'?

like flab but well less flabby HTH
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Re: Anyone out there?

Post by Dirk @ Fri Nov 14, 2008 11:22 pm

Hooli wrote:
900T-R wrote:
Fallen Angel wrote:
I know it would be discriminatory of me to say that only guys with defined deltoids need apply so I won't :hehe:



What in heavens are 'deltoids'?

like flab but well less flabby HTH

aaah bone
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