What are you reading?

Literature and creative ramblings.

Re: What are you reading?

Post by Damien Thorn @ Sat May 28, 2016 11:45 am

I am now reading Satin Island. It's nuts, it reminds me of American Psycho but without (so far) a psycho. Here's a bit:

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Re: What are you reading?

Post by Damien Thorn @ Wed Jun 08, 2016 10:42 am

I finished Satin Island at the weekend. I absolutely loved it, although I feel a bit wanky about doing so because it's one of those books. It really does feel like American Psycho, with huge tracts of off-topic first person pondering about odd nothings, but in this case it's because the narrator is an anthropologist instead of a maniac. In terms of events, next to nothing happens, but it's extraordinary and brilliantly written and I really enjoyed it. A quote on the cover says something like "when you finish it you'll want to throw it across the room, but you won't be able to stop thinking about it" and that's pretty true. It has one of the most irritating endings I can remember in a book, but



Now I'm reading The Facts Of Life & Death by Belinda Bauer which I'm enjoying so far except annoyingly it's about a little girl.
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Re: What are you reading?

Post by Deuteronomy @ Wed Jun 08, 2016 10:53 am

Book 11 (I think) of the Jack Reacher series.

Enjoyed them all so far, good fun.
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Re: What are you reading?

Post by Disastrous @ Wed Jun 08, 2016 10:58 am

Deuteronomy wrote:Book 11 (I think) of the Jack Reacher series.

Enjoyed them all so far, good fun.



Ha, they are quite good, aren't they? Which one is 11? I've read them all I think - good silly holiday reading.

Two questions though:

1). Why does nobody know who he is? He's pretty much operated at Federal/Preidential level several times and yet everyone from top brass to two bit sheriff seems unable to identify him, despite his massively distinctive appearance.

2). Given his massively distinctive appearance, why do hick-town thugs insist on trying their luck time and time again?? Imagine your boss said "hey, go over to the diner and rough up that 7 foot bodybuilder covered in scars" - you just wouldn't!
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Re: What are you reading?

Post by thekungfury @ Wed Jun 08, 2016 11:25 am

Clown Ice Skater #4 wrote:Sounds not dissimilar to Martina Cole, ceej. I got given a load of those a few years ago, read about a third of one, then threw them all in the recycling so no-one else would have to read them.

'Shaz's cut lip trembled as she fixed her old man's tea. Despite her belly full of arms and legs, he'd given her a right pasting for looking at him funny when he tried to sing 'My Old Man Said Foller The Van'. 'Your fackin' kid better not be anuvver split-arse', he shouted as he kicked her in the back. But she couldn't leave. He was a bona fide east end bank robber so when he was flush he took her up the Roman and bought her a nice dress. And he loved his old mum.'

I downloaded a free Cole Kindle recently. I enjoyed the tv series a few years back with Tom Hardy so thought the book would be OK but it's absolute drivel. Your text is spot on. It's such poorly written mockney which repeats the same things over and over.

Some of it reminds me of the way Soovy talks on PH. "He was a known Face in the manor. Shoulders like bags of cement and he knew how to handle himself if things became a bit fruity in the manor where he was a Face"
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Re: What are you reading?

Post by Disastrous @ Wed Jun 08, 2016 11:30 am

thekungfury wrote:
Clown Ice Skater #4 wrote:Sounds not dissimilar to Martina Cole, ceej. I got given a load of those a few years ago, read about a third of one, then threw them all in the recycling so no-one else would have to read them.

'Shaz's cut lip trembled as she fixed her old man's tea. Despite her belly full of arms and legs, he'd given her a right pasting for looking at him funny when he tried to sing 'My Old Man Said Foller The Van'. 'Your fackin' kid better not be anuvver split-arse', he shouted as he kicked her in the back. But she couldn't leave. He was a bona fide east end bank robber so when he was flush he took her up the Roman and bought her a nice dress. And he loved his old mum.'

I downloaded a free Cole Kindle recently. I enjoyed the tv series a few years back with Tom Hardy so thought the book would be OK but it's absolute drivel. Your text is spot on. It's such poorly written mockney which repeats the same things over and over.

Some of it reminds me of the way Soovy talks on PH. "He was a known Face in the manor. Shoulders like bags of cement and he knew how to handle himself if things became a bit fruity in the manor where he was a Face"



Sharpener, out on the cobbles!

/Dyer
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Re: What are you reading?

Post by Damien Thorn @ Sat Jun 11, 2016 10:03 am

Still reading my Belinda Bauer.

This page made me wish I could write properly:

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Re: What are you reading?

Post by Damien Thorn @ Mon Jun 27, 2016 12:30 pm

I've finished that now, and enjoyed it. Enjoyed it enough that I want to read some more Belinda Bauer straight away, but I can't because I haven't got any and because I've got buckets of other books to read already.

I felt very smug halfway through this book when I realised I'd worked out who the murderer was from various clues, so imagine my surprise when the killer's identity was revealed on literally the very next page. Gah!
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Re: What are you reading?

Post by Tokyo Sexwale @ Thu Jul 21, 2016 11:03 am

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Re: What are you reading?

Post by Deuteronomy @ Thu Jul 21, 2016 11:06 am

Still working my way through the Jack Reacher series, book 14 now.

Anyone read them all yet?
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Re: What are you reading?

Post by Hooli @ Thu Jul 21, 2016 11:08 am

Only read a couple, very formulated but easy entertaining reading.
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Re: What are you reading?

Post by stuart @ Wed Jul 27, 2016 9:26 am

I'm enjoying the second book in the Dark Tower series, The drawing of the three.
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Re: What are you reading?

Post by Il Duce @ Fri Jul 29, 2016 10:09 am

Deuteronomy wrote:Book 11 (I think) of the Jack Reacher series.

Enjoyed them all so far, good fun.



Well I read the first one and enjoyed it.

Jack gets into danger, meets a girl and sleeps with here, then sorts out the danger.

Then the second one.

Jack gets into danger, meets a girl and sleeps with her, then sorts out the danger.

Then the third one.

Jack meets a girl... and then I deleted the bastard book.



Are they all like that?
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Re: What are you reading?

Post by Disastrous @ Fri Jul 29, 2016 10:15 am

Deuteronomy wrote:Still working my way through the Jack Reacher series, book 14 now.

Anyone read them all yet?



Yes.
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Re: What are you reading?

Post by Disastrous @ Fri Jul 29, 2016 10:15 am

Il Duce wrote:
Deuteronomy wrote:Book 11 (I think) of the Jack Reacher series.

Enjoyed them all so far, good fun.



Well I read the first one and enjoyed it.

Jack gets into danger, meets a girl and sleeps with here, then sorts out the danger.

Then the second one.

Jack gets into danger, meets a girl and sleeps with her, then sorts out the danger.

Then the third one.

Jack meets a girl... and then I deleted the bastard book.



Are they all like that?



Yes.
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Re: What are you reading?

Post by Il Duce @ Fri Jul 29, 2016 10:33 am

Disastrous wrote:
Il Duce wrote:
Deuteronomy wrote:Book 11 (I think) of the Jack Reacher series.

Enjoyed them all so far, good fun.



Well I read the first one and enjoyed it.

Jack gets into danger, meets a girl and sleeps with here, then sorts out the danger.

Then the second one.

Jack gets into danger, meets a girl and sleeps with her, then sorts out the danger.

Then the third one.

Jack meets a girl... and then I deleted the bastard book.



Are they all like that?



Yes.


Jesus! How can you keep reading them? Short memory span?
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Re: What are you reading?

Post by Deuteronomy @ Fri Jul 29, 2016 10:35 am

Disastrous wrote:
Il Duce wrote:
Deuteronomy wrote:Book 11 (I think) of the Jack Reacher series.

Enjoyed them all so far, good fun.



Well I read the first one and enjoyed it.

Jack gets into danger, meets a girl and sleeps with here, then sorts out the danger.

Then the second one.

Jack gets into danger, meets a girl and sleeps with her, then sorts out the danger.

Then the third one.

Jack meets a girl... and then I deleted the bastard book.



Are they all like that?



Yes.


Yes.

Disastrous wrote:
Deuteronomy wrote:Book 11 (I think) of the Jack Reacher series.

Enjoyed them all so far, good fun.



Ha, they are quite good, aren't they? Which one is 11? I've read them all I think - good silly holiday reading.

Two questions though:

1). Why does nobody know who he is? He's pretty much operated at Federal/Preidential level several times and yet everyone from top brass to two bit sheriff seems unable to identify him, despite his massively distinctive appearance.

2). Given his massively distinctive appearance, why do hick-town thugs insist on trying their luck time and time again?? Imagine your boss said "hey, go over to the diner and rough up that 7 foot bodybuilder covered in scars" - you just wouldn't!


Sorry, didn't see this Dis.

1) See Bond, James
2) Dunno, but it's such an important park of the books I just can't bring myself to watch the films with Tiny Tom.
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Re: What are you reading?

Post by Disastrous @ Fri Jul 29, 2016 10:44 am

Il Duce wrote:
Disastrous wrote:
Il Duce wrote:
Deuteronomy wrote:Book 11 (I think) of the Jack Reacher series.

Enjoyed them all so far, good fun.



Well I read the first one and enjoyed it.

Jack gets into danger, meets a girl and sleeps with here, then sorts out the danger.

Then the second one.

Jack gets into danger, meets a girl and sleeps with her, then sorts out the danger.

Then the third one.

Jack meets a girl... and then I deleted the bastard book.



Are they all like that?



Yes.


Jesus! How can you keep reading them? Short memory span?


How would I know they were all the same if I had a short memory span?
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Re: What are you reading?

Post by Disastrous @ Fri Jul 29, 2016 10:50 am

Deuteronomy wrote:

Sorry, didn't see this Dis.

1) See Bond, James



Yeah, but everyone know who is. From hoteliers - ah mr bond, your usual suite sir? - through to bartenders and even the villain - ah, mr bond James Bond 007 licence to kill...or be killed - he's the shittest secret agent ever.

Plus at least M remembers who he is between missions. Reacher literally murders
  • SPOILER: Mouse over to reveal
    • one of the Joint Chiefs
and then a few books later is just a drifter who nobody in the military recognises.

Now I know America is a big place but even so, I reckon that sort of headline news couple with the world's most distinctive appearance would make you stick in people's minds...
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Re: What are you reading?

Post by Il Duce @ Fri Jul 29, 2016 11:41 am

Disastrous wrote:
Il Duce wrote:
Disastrous wrote:
Il Duce wrote:
Deuteronomy wrote:Book 11 (I think) of the Jack Reacher series.

Enjoyed them all so far, good fun.



Well I read the first one and enjoyed it.

Jack gets into danger, meets a girl and sleeps with here, then sorts out the danger.

Then the second one.

Jack gets into danger, meets a girl and sleeps with her, then sorts out the danger.

Then the third one.

Jack meets a girl... and then I deleted the bastard book.



Are they all like that?



Yes.


Jesus! How can you keep reading them? Short memory span?


How would I know they were all the same if I had a short memory span?


True.
So you have a very high boredom threshold then?
Like a downer.
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Re: What are you reading?

Post by Deuteronomy @ Fri Jul 29, 2016 11:50 am

Disastrous wrote:
Deuteronomy wrote:

Sorry, didn't see this Dis.

1) See Bond, James



Yeah, but everyone know who is. From hoteliers - ah mr bond, your usual suite sir? - through to bartenders and even the villain - ah, mr bond James Bond 007 licence to kill...or be killed - he's the shittest secret agent ever.

Plus at least M remembers who he is between missions. Reacher literally murders
  • SPOILER: Mouse over to reveal
    • one of the Joint Chiefs
and then a few books later is just a drifter who nobody in the military recognises.

Now I know America is a big place but even so, I reckon that sort of headline news couple with the world's most distinctive appearance would make you stick in people's minds...


Yeah, he does get away with, well... murder.

But it's good fun, chewing gum for the mind.
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Re: What are you reading?

Post by Disastrous @ Fri Jul 29, 2016 11:52 am

I've got quite a high capacity for brain-out fluff, yes. I can't read 'proper' things when I'm travelling or whatever, so Reacher books make for a good literary equivalent of an action film I can safely read whilst dozing without missing vital prose if my eyes slide over a page or two.

Plus it's relatively entertaining fluff at that.

My guess is that Deuts and I empathise more with a statuesque injustice-righting vigilante that always gets the girl than an Italian ever could?


>mic drop<
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Re: What are you reading?

Post by Deuteronomy @ Fri Jul 29, 2016 12:40 pm

Disastrous wrote:I've got quite a high capacity for brain-out fluff, yes. I can't read 'proper' things when I'm travelling or whatever, so Reacher books make for a good literary equivalent of an action film I can safely read whilst dozing without missing vital prose if my eyes slide over a page or two.

Plus it's relatively entertaining fluff at that.

My guess is that Deuts and I empathise more with a statuesque injustice-righting vigilante that always gets the girl than an Italian ever could?


>mic drop<


>fist bump<

Boom.
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Re: What are you reading?

Post by Il Duce @ Fri Jul 29, 2016 1:04 pm

Disastrous wrote:I've got quite a high capacity for brain-out fluff, yes. I can't read 'proper' things when I'm travelling or whatever, so Reacher books make for a good literary equivalent of an action film I can safely read whilst dozing without missing vital prose if my eyes slide over a page or two.

Plus it's relatively entertaining fluff at that.

My guess is that Deuts and I empathise more with a statuesque injustice-righting vigilante that always gets the girl than an Italian ever could?


>mic drop<


You empathise with him because he's a crashing bore.

I can imagine being stuck with him in the pub while he shared his detailed knowledge of bullet velocities and wishing one would hit me in the head.
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Re: What are you reading?

Post by Deuteronomy @ Fri Jul 29, 2016 1:55 pm

Il Duce wrote:
Disastrous wrote:I've got quite a high capacity for brain-out fluff, yes. I can't read 'proper' things when I'm travelling or whatever, so Reacher books make for a good literary equivalent of an action film I can safely read whilst dozing without missing vital prose if my eyes slide over a page or two.

Plus it's relatively entertaining fluff at that.

My guess is that Deuts and I empathise more with a statuesque injustice-righting vigilante that always gets the girl than an Italian ever could?


>mic drop<


You empathise with him because he's a crashing bore.

I can imagine being stuck with him in the pub while he shared his detailed knowledge of bullet velocities and wishing one would hit me in the head.


Don't worry, as a character Reacher is very solitary and doesn't like talking, so along with the rest of the pub he's unlikely to want to have a conversation with you.
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Re: What are you reading?

Post by Il Duce @ Fri Jul 29, 2016 3:17 pm

Deuteronomy wrote:
Il Duce wrote:
Disastrous wrote:I've got quite a high capacity for brain-out fluff, yes. I can't read 'proper' things when I'm travelling or whatever, so Reacher books make for a good literary equivalent of an action film I can safely read whilst dozing without missing vital prose if my eyes slide over a page or two.

Plus it's relatively entertaining fluff at that.

My guess is that Deuts and I empathise more with a statuesque injustice-righting vigilante that always gets the girl than an Italian ever could?


>mic drop<


You empathise with him because he's a crashing bore.

I can imagine being stuck with him in the pub while he shared his detailed knowledge of bullet velocities and wishing one would hit me in the head.


Don't worry, as a character Reacher is very solitary and doesn't like talking, so along with the rest of the pub he's unlikely to want to have a conversation with you.


Rubbish!
Couple of pints and some pork scratchings and you wouldn't be able to shut him up.
And then he'd start crying when he remembered he was bald and married to a German in a loveless, sexless marriage.
And he'd come back from the gents with piss over one leg and suede shoe.

Like Dis in about 4 years time in fact.
Or you now, apart from the German and the pork scratchings.
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Re: What are you reading?

Post by Deuteronomy @ Fri Jul 29, 2016 4:01 pm

Il Duce wrote:
Deuteronomy wrote:
Il Duce wrote:
Disastrous wrote:I've got quite a high capacity for brain-out fluff, yes. I can't read 'proper' things when I'm travelling or whatever, so Reacher books make for a good literary equivalent of an action film I can safely read whilst dozing without missing vital prose if my eyes slide over a page or two.

Plus it's relatively entertaining fluff at that.

My guess is that Deuts and I empathise more with a statuesque injustice-righting vigilante that always gets the girl than an Italian ever could?


>mic drop<


You empathise with him because he's a crashing bore.

I can imagine being stuck with him in the pub while he shared his detailed knowledge of bullet velocities and wishing one would hit me in the head.


Don't worry, as a character Reacher is very solitary and doesn't like talking, so along with the rest of the pub he's unlikely to want to have a conversation with you.


Rubbish!
Couple of pints and some pork scratchings and you wouldn't be able to shut him up.
And then he'd start crying when he remembered he was bald and married to a German in a loveless, sexless marriage.
And he'd come back from the gents with piss over one leg and suede shoe.

Like Dis in about 4 years time in fact.
Or you now, apart from the German and the pork scratchings.


See, what you've done there is the internet equivalent of "I know you are, but what am I?"
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Re: What are you reading?

Post by Tokyo Sexwale @ Fri Jul 29, 2016 5:21 pm

Deuteronomy wrote:
Il Duce wrote:
Deuteronomy wrote:
Il Duce wrote:
Disastrous wrote:I've got quite a high capacity for brain-out fluff, yes. I can't read 'proper' things when I'm travelling or whatever, so Reacher books make for a good literary equivalent of an action film I can safely read whilst dozing without missing vital prose if my eyes slide over a page or two.

Plus it's relatively entertaining fluff at that.

My guess is that Deuts and I empathise more with a statuesque injustice-righting vigilante that always gets the girl than an Italian ever could?


>mic drop<


You empathise with him because he's a crashing bore.

I can imagine being stuck with him in the pub while he shared his detailed knowledge of bullet velocities and wishing one would hit me in the head.


Don't worry, as a character Reacher is very solitary and doesn't like talking, so along with the rest of the pub he's unlikely to want to have a conversation with you.


Rubbish!
Couple of pints and some pork scratchings and you wouldn't be able to shut him up.
And then he'd start crying when he remembered he was bald and married to a German in a loveless, sexless marriage.
And he'd come back from the gents with piss over one leg and suede shoe.

Like Dis in about 4 years time in fact.
Or you now, apart from the German and the pork scratchings.


See, what you've done there is the internet equivalent of "I know you are, but what am I?"


:D
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Re: What are you reading?

Post by Il Duce @ Fri Jul 29, 2016 5:26 pm

Deuteronomy wrote:
Il Duce wrote:
Deuteronomy wrote:
Il Duce wrote:
Disastrous wrote:I've got quite a high capacity for brain-out fluff, yes. I can't read 'proper' things when I'm travelling or whatever, so Reacher books make for a good literary equivalent of an action film I can safely read whilst dozing without missing vital prose if my eyes slide over a page or two.

Plus it's relatively entertaining fluff at that.

My guess is that Deuts and I empathise more with a statuesque injustice-righting vigilante that always gets the girl than an Italian ever could?


>mic drop<


You empathise with him because he's a crashing bore.

I can imagine being stuck with him in the pub while he shared his detailed knowledge of bullet velocities and wishing one would hit me in the head.


Don't worry, as a character Reacher is very solitary and doesn't like talking, so along with the rest of the pub he's unlikely to want to have a conversation with you.


Rubbish!
Couple of pints and some pork scratchings and you wouldn't be able to shut him up.
And then he'd start crying when he remembered he was bald and married to a German in a loveless, sexless marriage.
And he'd come back from the gents with piss over one leg and suede shoe.

Like Dis in about 4 years time in fact.
Or you now, apart from the German and the pork scratchings.


See, what you've done there is the internet equivalent of "I know you are, but what am I?"


I've never heard anyone use that phrase until now.
I'm still having difficulty understanding it.
I understand the words obv, but it seems you've thrown them together randomly like the a Heston with alzheimers recipe.
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Re: What are you reading?

Post by One MoreDonkey @ Fri Jul 29, 2016 5:50 pm

Just finished 'Me before You'

If anyone is of a sensitive nature, or has a partner about to read it, ensure you have tissues ready towards the end of the book and don't read it anywhere public if you're likely to cry and make a tit of yourself.
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