Worst Christmas song of all time ?

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Worst Christmas song of all time ?

Post by Strawman @ Mon Dec 21, 2015 2:22 pm

My nomination, Blue Xmas by Miles Davis


Original video page: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mAh3Qx1zMzY


Must be in some way seasonal, not just a song which was number 1 at Christmas in some chart.
Last edited by Strawman on Mon Dec 21, 2015 2:23 pm, edited 1 time in total.
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Re: Worst Christmas song of all time ?

Post by Disastrous @ Mon Dec 21, 2015 3:07 pm

The McCartney one with the cnut keyboard part.

Basically just him repeating "we'll be, ha-ving, a wonderful Christmas time" over and over for a thousand minutes.
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Re: Worst Christmas song of all time ?

Post by Strawman @ Mon Dec 21, 2015 3:13 pm

We're simply,
having
a wonderful Christmas time

(repeat until the crack of doom)

Original video page: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hMhMekfIyos


It is bad, but have you listened to Blue Xmas ?
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Re: Worst Christmas song of all time ?

Post by Careless Whisperer @ Mon Dec 21, 2015 3:13 pm

Christmas Day by Squeeze: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PCD8bwXbE5s

I heard it on the radio a couple of days ago and couldn't believe how awful it was.
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Re: Worst Christmas song of all time ?

Post by Strawman @ Mon Dec 21, 2015 3:32 pm

Careless Whisperer wrote:Christmas Day by Squeeze: Original video page: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PCD8bwXbE5s

.

I can't really grasp the enormity of how bad that squeeze song is CW
Last edited by Strawman on Mon Dec 21, 2015 3:33 pm, edited 1 time in total.
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Re: Worst Christmas song of all time ?

Post by Freddie @ Mon Dec 21, 2015 3:36 pm

Fairy tale New York Tale Whatsit with Skank McGowan and Kirsty NoLongerMcCall.Starts in September stops in January.

Make it stop. The voices in my head are telling me to ......
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Re: Worst Christmas song of all time ?

Post by Disastrous @ Mon Dec 21, 2015 3:41 pm

:rofl: at squeeze. That is utter dogshit. Not even a song!!

Miles Davis I can cope with because it sort of makes me laugh a bit.

McCartney still the worst for me as its relentlessly catch so sim-ply thinking about it can potentially ruin my whole day.

Blue Xmas is quite impossible to hum to yourself and Squeeze has no discernible melody to hum to yourself.
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Re: Worst Christmas song of all time ?

Post by manfromdelmonte @ Mon Dec 21, 2015 3:41 pm

Disastrous wrote:The McCartney one with the cnut keyboard part.

Basically just him repeating "we'll be, ha-ving, a wonderful Christmas time" over and over for a thousand minutes.



Oh Christ, definitely this one. Anything by Paul McCuntny makes me want to tear my ears off but I would rather shit in my hands and clap than listen to that.
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Re: Worst Christmas song of all time ?

Post by Disastrous @ Mon Dec 21, 2015 3:41 pm

Freddie wrote:Fairy tale New York Tale Whatsit with Skank McGowan and Kirsty NoLongerMcCall.Starts in September stops in January.

Make it stop. The voices in my head are telling me to ......



The actual best xmas song by miles (not Davis).
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Re: Worst Christmas song of all time ?

Post by manfromdelmonte @ Mon Dec 21, 2015 3:43 pm

Disastrous wrote:
Freddie wrote:Fairy tale New York Tale Whatsit with Skank McGowan and Kirsty NoLongerMcCall.Starts in September stops in January.

Make it stop. The voices in my head are telling me to ......



The actual best xmas song by miles (not Davis).



I agree it's the best one. I quite like Stop the Cavalry too, but Kirsty wins.
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Re: Worst Christmas song of all time ?

Post by Turntable @ Mon Dec 21, 2015 5:18 pm

manfromdelmonte wrote:
Disastrous wrote:
Freddie wrote:Fairy tale New York Tale Whatsit with Skank McGowan and Kirsty NoLongerMcCall.Starts in September stops in January.

Make it stop. The voices in my head are telling me to ......



The actual best xmas song by miles (not Davis).



I agree it's the best one. I quite like Stop the Cavalry too, but Kirsty wins.


Agree. Freddie, you must back down on this I am afraid or we will bully you remorselessly.
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Re: Worst Christmas song of all time ?

Post by CJ+ @ Mon Dec 21, 2015 5:27 pm

I hate everything in this thread so far.

But I especially hate Wizzard and Slade.

McCartney can fcuk off too.

Actually, I just hate Xmas tunes.

Bah humbug.
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Re: Worst Christmas song of all time ?

Post by Doctor Congo @ Mon Dec 21, 2015 7:45 pm

Fairy tale of New York is ace and bizarrely Americans are oblivious to it.

Worst Xmas song is Chris De Burgh, a spaceman came

http://youtu.be/Ma8P4bDtJH8

Agree with McCartney being shit.
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Re: Worst Christmas song of all time ?

Post by Doctor Congo @ Mon Dec 21, 2015 7:47 pm

Great Xmas song is Christmas wrapping by The Waitresses

http://youtu.be/nud2TQNahaU
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Re: Worst Christmas song of all time ?

Post by Doctor Congo @ Mon Dec 21, 2015 7:48 pm

Oh and this one....

http://youtu.be/GPG3zSgm_Qo
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Re: Worst Christmas song of all time ?

Post by Ghost @ Mon Dec 21, 2015 8:35 pm

This shit with Mariah Carey shot in faux 8mm home movie style.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yXQViqx6GMY
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Re: Worst Christmas song of all time ?

Post by Käsemeister @ Mon Dec 21, 2015 11:45 pm

Anything with Mary Carey. Simply anything.
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Re: Worst Christmas song of all time ?

Post by moleamol @ Tue Dec 22, 2015 12:00 am

Ghost wrote:This shit with Mariah Carey shot in faux 8mm home movie style.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yXQViqx6GMY

What?! That's probably the best you crazy fool!
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Re: Worst Christmas song of all time ?

Post by Pigeon @ Tue Dec 22, 2015 12:37 am

CJ+ wrote:Actually, I just hate Xmas tunes.

Bah humbug.


This. They're all shit.

I feel lucky this year because so far I haven't heard one. I wonder how long that will continue to be the case?
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Re: Worst Christmas song of all time ?

Post by Freddie @ Tue Dec 22, 2015 12:49 am

Pigeon wrote:
CJ+ wrote:Actually, I just hate Xmas tunes.

Bah humbug.


This. They're all shit.

I feel lucky this year because so far I haven't heard one. I wonder how long that will continue to be the case?


Thank you Prof Pigeon. All others: shan't back down. Anyone would think my name starts with a D.
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Re: Worst Christmas song of all time ?

Post by Careless Whisperer @ Tue Dec 22, 2015 9:18 am

Are we going to have a shortlist and a vote for Christmas Eve to decide the ultimate shit Christmas song.
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Re: Worst Christmas song of all time ?

Post by Dirk @ Tue Dec 22, 2015 9:46 am

Band Aid- "Do they..."
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Re: Worst Christmas song of all time ?

Post by Käsemeister @ Tue Dec 22, 2015 11:13 am

No they don't.
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Re: Worst Christmas song of all time ?

Post by Freddie @ Wed Dec 23, 2015 4:24 pm

An unreserved apology to everybody at CTF.

As you know, I rashly stated that KirstyMcDead/SkankMcGowan's New York Christmas dirge tale was the worst Christmas song ever. I now know that it isn't. It pales into insignificance when compared to War is over by J Lemon Esq and a bunch of caterwauling brats.

Three times during a car journey from London to Waltham Abbey. FFS!
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Re: Worst Christmas song of all time ?

Post by thekungfury @ Wed Dec 23, 2015 4:35 pm

There won't be snow in Africa this Christmas time - big shit, nor will we
The greatest gift they'll get this year is life - again this isn't limited to Africans, being alive is THE greatest gift, man
Where nothing ever grows - tell me about it, my courgette crop was shit this year
No rain nor river flows - taking the piss out of Cockermouth, bit distasteful
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Re: Worst Christmas song of all time ?

Post by Deuteronomy @ Wed Dec 23, 2015 4:38 pm

thekungfury wrote:There won't be snow in Africa this Christmas time - big shit, nor will we
The greatest gift they'll get this year is life - again this isn't limited to Africans, being alive is THE greatest gift, man
Where nothing ever grows - tell me about it, my courgette crop was shit this year
No rain nor river flows - taking the piss out of Cockermouth, bit distasteful


To think of the money they've had from us!
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Re: Worst Christmas song of all time ?

Post by S1K @ Wed Dec 23, 2015 6:17 pm

thekungfury wrote:There won't be snow in Africa this Christmas time - big shit, nor will we
The greatest gift they'll get this year is life - again this isn't limited to Africans, being alive is THE greatest gift, man
Where nothing ever grows - tell me about it, my courgette crop was shit this year
No rain nor river flows - taking the piss out of Cockermouth, bit distasteful

Also thoroughly inaccurate.

There won't be snow in Africa this Christmas time - Yes there will be. Morocco even has ski resorts in the Atlas Mountains.
The greatest gift they'll get this year is life - A bit hurtful considering I donated some old shirts to Oxfam just last month.
Where nothing ever grows - Zimbabwe's tobacco industry is booming, up over 235% between 2009-2015.
No rain nor river flows - Nile, Congo, Zambezi, Niger...

I, along with millions of others, was tricked into spending 99p of my pocket money on these lies in 1984 when I was too young to know any better. Under legislation introduced in 2015 class-action lawsuits are now possible in the UK and I think it's high time that Messrs Geldof and Ure were brought to book.
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Re: Worst Christmas song of all time ?

Post by Piquet @ Wed Dec 23, 2015 7:01 pm

I quite like Merry Xmas (War Is Over) (it's proper name, actually, Freddie!). I love Driving Home For Christmas as well, but I'm getting this thread all wrong!!!

Band Aid or Wonderful Christmastime are the worst.
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Re: Worst Christmas song of all time ?

Post by Freddie @ Wed Dec 23, 2015 7:14 pm

Piquet wrote:I quite like Merry Xmas (War Is Over) (it's proper name, actually, Freddie!). I love Driving Home For Christmas as well, but I'm getting this thread all wrong!!!

Band Aid or Wonderful Christmastime are the worst.


Thank you for sharing, Piquet.
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Re: Worst Christmas song of all time ?

Post by Ghost @ Wed Dec 23, 2015 7:28 pm

I will just leave this pile of excrement here . . .

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MqBF7TiyATo
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